BYE September

Let me just be honest with you all. SEPTEMBER WAS MEAN. It was not my favorite month.

We had a lot of hard things happen to people we love and we had some hiccups in our own little family.

I spent the majority of the month CRYING and GRIEVING and quite a bit lost.

Understand that there were many great things in the month as well but when I think about the month over all it stands as one of the hardest of the year.

I let a lot of balls drop this month and I am quite disappointed in myself for that.

YES, I AM VERY HAPPY TO SAY GOOD BYE TO SEPTEMBER!

Welcome, welcome OCTOBER!

I am choosing to see October as a FRESH START!

October is my FAVORITE month of the year! I fully expect fall temperatures to make an appearance here and there. It is our anniversary month! It is the last month before the craziness of the holidays begin. It is just an all around GREAT month!

October will bring 9 full years of marriage to my Mr. Wonderful and that is more that worth celebrating!

So here's to saying goodbye to a tough month and starting afresh. Here's to letting go of the sadness and choosing to reside in JOY. Here's to moving beyond the disappointments of what I did not get done or did not do well.

HERE'S TO YOU OCTOBER! MAY YOU BE JOYFUL, BEAUTIFUL AND SO MUCH MORE!

Father,
Heal me. Heal my hurts and my heart. Heal my friends and my family. Bring the cooler temperatures and with it winds of refreshing and reflection. Lord may this new month be more successful than the last in all the ways that matter. Lord help me to bring you glory and honor in the way that I love my family and those around me. Help me Father to appreciate more and to see more of the good than I do the bad. Lead me and guide me on the paths that you would have me take. Help me to hear YOUR voice louder than I hear anything else. Do in our lives Lord what ONLY YOU can do! I give you this next month and Father I ask You to have YOUR way! In Jesus name. Amen.

It is Well with my Soul

This was the very first message I wrote as a speaker. It still holds true today.

In order for it to be well with our souls we MUST TRUST Him and not what we "know".

We must TRUST who He is.  God is LOVE.

1 John 4:16 - "As so we know and rely on the love God has for us. GOD IS LOVE. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."

If God is love then we understand from the Word that Love always Trusts.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 - "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

No matter what our circumstances are or have been or who has hurt you. God is still Love, He is good, He is faithful and He is trustworthy.

Through it all...It is Well

It is our choice to allow it to be well with our soul no matter what we face. Once we choose to believe in Him and who He is then we must...PRACTICE!

We must PRACTICE and be taught continually and then we stand in Truth and Trust.

HOW?
1. Read the Word. The BIBLE is absolute truth and we need to read and study it daily to know truth!
2. Be in HIS presence. For any relationship to work we must spend time together. God longs to spend time with us. We desperately need to spend time with Him everyday!
3. Speak Truth. Not what our feelings tell us. FEELINGS LIE!

• Numbers 14:1-25 - the Israelite's got caught up in the emotion of the moment...fear...and they forgot what they knew about God's character.
• God led them out of slavery, took them right up to the promised land, protected them, fed them & fulfilled every promise
• Yet they let FEAR take over and they stopped trusting God and THEY NEVER ENTERED THE PROMISED LAND.

4. Stay connected to the body of Christ! We must be a part of a community of believers and allow them to encourage us and correct us. We must continue in open and unguarded relationship with others.


We start by knowing who God is and trusting Him and then that lead us to knowing that IT IS WELL WITH ME!

When it is well with me then I can trust fully.

THIS IS WHAT SETS US APART FROM THE WORLD.

Y'all, I can confidently say that even though it has been a hard month for me that IT IS INDEED WELL WITH MY SOUL!

I still have JOY and I am okay to the core! God is so so good! Especially in the hard times! He is so attentive and loving. And the family of God that He has placed us in, is nothing shy of wonderful!

I am beyond thankful for the place that I am in. Spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

Father,
Thank you for your undying and never changing love and presence. Thank you that it is well with my soul. Thank you Lord that I know that no matter what I face that I am okay. Thank you Lord for the tough times that grow me, push me closer to you and allow others the opportunity to pour out your love into me. Thank you Father for who you are and for all that you are doing. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Hit after hit

I am in a season where it seems that the punches just keep coming one after the other. Anyone of you ever been there?

It has just been one heartache after another.

Even in the midst of these punches I am reminded of God's great love. He is so so good and so so faithful.

He gave me such an incredibly fun and refreshing weekend away with some wonderful women in our church and with other wonderful women in our state! I am beyond thankful for the time away with Him.

I know that He has never left my side no matter what I have faced or what I have done. I am beyond thankful today for that truth.

Deuteronomy 31:8 - "The Lord himself will go ahead of you. He will be with you. He will never leave you. He'll never desert you. So don't be afraid. Don't lose hope."

I have not lost hope. I will not give up. I will continue to stand and to love with heart wide open. I will continue to serve the Lord with all of me.

I am thankful that in a world where I fail people constantly He never fails! In a world where people fail us constantly, God never fails us. He is constant and never changing.

Hebrews 13:8 - "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

Oh this Monday I am broken and exhausted. This is the same place I have been at for a few months now. I believe that God has me in this place of brokenness for a reason and I know that it is only for a season. I want to learn all that God wants me to learn in this season.

If you are reading this and you have felt like you are just taking hit after hit please know that you are never alone and that there is much to learn in the hard seasons of our life.

Also know that a hard season does not equal a bad life! My life is far from bad. But this season is a difficult one.

Be encouraged today that God sees you and He goes before you and he is right there with us in our most difficult seasons.

I know that there are others that are in much harder seasons than I am in. Much harder! That doesn't lessen the difficulty of this season for me or them.

Father,
I have failed. Over and over I have failed. Others have failed. Others have failed me. In all of this I know that YOU are constant and faithful. We are going to fail. I am going to fail others and myself. Father, I desire to grow in this season and to learn all that you have for me to learn. Help me to see the places where you are calling me to do better, help me to see the places where I need to step back and allow You to move without my interference. Help me Father to continue to love with all of me even when my heart hurts so much. Father help me to continue to stand and trust you and serve you. Help me Father to bring You glory in all that I do and say even when I am hurting. I know that hurt people have a tendency to hurt other people, I ask you Father to protect me from doing that. Help me to be a light in every season of my life. Help me to point my heart and others' hearts back to you. Help me to always be open and honest and not build walls and hide. Father, help me. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Grief Rolls like the Waves

Close your eyes and picture with me...

you're standing on the beach just close enough so that the water touches your toes every several waves except for that one wave that rolls in strong on occasion that drenches your feet and splashes the tips of your shorts just a bit.

Grief or Sadness I think is much the same as this.

There are moments when the water has pulled back and you are completely dry and can laugh, sing and soar with life.

There are moments when the waves come close but do not quite touch you when you are down and quiet.

There are moments when the waves wash over your feet and you are hanging out with memories and tears.

There are the occasional waves that surprise you and wash all the way up splashing your clothes and you are swept up in the heartache of it all.

There are also the occasional waves that knock you down and you are drenched in lost hopes and plans, when you can barely pick yourself up or pull yourself from the sobs that come up like unwelcome water burning your nose.

Grief or Sadness rolls inside of us like the waves.

I am grieving with some of my far away friends these days. I have had moments when I have felt somewhat swept away by the sadness of all they are facing, knowing that I truly have no idea what it feels like to be in their shoes but desperately crying out for them.

I am feeling drenched in lost hopes, dreams and plans that I imagine they had. I weep for the emptiness that I imagine they feel.

I don't know what you may be facing today. I don't know if you are facing grief from loosing a loved one or if you are just experiencing some sadness. Maybe you are in a different kind of valley.

Maybe you are in one of the highs of life, way up on the mountain top watching the waves and enjoying the vast view and the peaceful sound of it all.

Reader, I don't know where you stand today on the edge of such grief, somewhere in the middle or way up upon the cliff of life. But I want you to know that no matter where you stand at this very moment...You are Loved. You are seen. You are known. You are chosen by our Heavenly Father, Creator, Savior, Lord of Lords, and King of Kings. He sees YOU, He knows YOU, He loves YOU and He choose you!

Father,
Help us in anything that we face to recognize YOU. Help us to allow your great love to transform us and to propel us on to the things that you have for us to do. Help us to heal and be comforted. Help us to receive your Peace that transcends all understanding. Help us to hear YOUR voice louder than we hear anything else. Help us to know that we know that we know that we are NOT alone. I pray that we would all come to know you more. Learn to love you more and that we would LIVE to serve YOU all the days of our life. In Jesus name. Amen.

When it hurts more than words

Today my heart hurts so much that I don’t really have words to describe.
Today I am wishing I had super powers. Today I wish I could roll back time and change a few things. Today I wish I would have known then what I know now.

Time is too short. Life is too precious.

 We just don’t know when the end will come. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We don’t know nearly as much as we think we do. We know so little.

Where is God when we are hurting?

Psalm 34:18-19 - “The Lord is close to those whose hearts have been broken. He saves those whose Spirits have been crushed.”

Where is God? He is right there with us. Closer than ever before. I am so thankful for that truth, that promise.

I feel as though my heart has been broken repeatedly over the last few weeks. From the death of a friend to the needs of my students to the brokenness of many around me and my own brokenness.

It can be a lonely place when others think you have it all together or when your brokenness & imperfections have negatively affected someone you love. Mommying can be a lonely place. Ministry can be a lonely place. Grief can be a lonely place. Loving completely can be a lonely place.

The truth is, WE ARE NEVER ALONE. The Creator of the Universe is in constant pursuit of us and He is ever so near. Will I see Him? Will I acknowledge Him? Will I come to Him? Will I obey him?

The truth is, He has already gone ahead of me and knows the way. Will I follow Him?

At then end of the day, I want more of Jesus. I want to make Him happy. I want to walk well. I want His forgivenwss. I want right relationship with him. I want all of these things more than I want understanding and escape.

Father, Thank you for being close to the broken-hearted. We need you. There is so much hurt around me right now and always. There is so much hurt inside me. Thank you for giving me the capacity to love but I want to love even more. Father help me to just be better. Help me see you and receive you more. Father I pray for comfort for the hurting and peace that transcends all understanding in the days, weeks, months and years ahead. I pray that you would hold them up and draw them close. I pray that you would encourage them and strengthen them. In Jesus name. Amen.

From Overwhelmed to Challenged

There is so much going on in the media and on the news these days that I feel like my head is spinning. There is so much devastation around us and so many devastating stories constantly in our faces.

Gone are the days where we only hear the news once or twice a day. No, we are completely bombarded with it now. We are bombarded with SO MUCH because of media.

From innocent babies dying because of a broken foster care system, wildly popular books and motivational speakers to the suicide of a pastor from California. There are so many things IN OUR FACES!

It can be so easy to get caught up in it all. It can be easy to get caught up in the emotion of hearing about a child dying. It can be so easy to get caught up in the hype of the latest book or speaker. It can be easy to get overwhelmed.

It can literally just be so easy to get completely carried away by all of it.

Last night in my STARS class I was reminded of what is truly important. After all week seeing the media explosion of so many things it took one students prayer card (filled from front to back with pleas for her family's salvation) to bring me to a screeching halt.

OUR MISSION FIELD IS WHAT MATTERS.

Our families. Our church. Our community. Our neighbors. Our schools. Our workplaces. Our grocery stores. THE PEOPLE THAT WE SHOULD BE REALLY SEEING AND HEARING. That's what matters.

What matters is making sure that I am filling myself up with ALL of God and His Word that I can just so that I can pour that out when people need it. Not IF people need it but WHEN they need it.

Our mission field DESPERATELY NEEDS US.

They do not need the next great book or to hear the next hyped motivational speaker. They NEED JESUS and you and I may be the ONLY Jesus they ever meet.

Hebrews 12:1-3 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

"let us throw off everything that hinders" - maybe that is our emotions, feelings, opinion or judgements or maybe it is our addiction to media!

"and the sin that so easily entangles" - it is so important that we are actively turning away from the sin in our lives and asking for forgiveness and for God's help to let it go forever

"let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" - God calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves and to go and make disciples and to be about His business winning souls for the kingdom

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" - Let's be focused on JESUS and the Word of God and not all of these other distractions. Doesn't life throw enough distractions at us without adding more

"who for the joy set before him endured the cross" - the JOY is YOU and ME! He did it for US! So that we can become who He created us to be and do the things He created us to do. So that we can be His representatives to the world around us

"and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" - He is at the right hand of the throne of God interceeding for US! He is listening to ALL of our prayers and telling them to God and asking Him to help us!

"Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men" - Jesus came to earth. He knows how hard it is to walk out our faith here. He knows it first hand and He left a book to help us. HE TAUGHT US FROM HIS OWN EXPERIENCE!

"so that you will not grow weary and lose heart" - We must not grow weary. Our mission field NEEDS us to keep going. To keep loving and to keep pouring out!

I am so challenged today. I went from a place of being completely overwhelmed to allowing God's Spirit and His Word to challenge me and to propel me forward and continue the work.

Why?

Because I have two boys who look to me to be the example of Jesus 24 hours a day!

Because I have a student who is pleading with God for the salvation of her family. I have many students who need to be built up in the way of the One True God because they are facing unimaginable things at home and because they are bombarded with social media ALL DAY LONG!

Because my community is chock full of hurting people who are turning down the wrong path to find the fulfillment that only comes from Jesus. Because I used to walk there and because I now know TRUTH. Because God calls me to be the one to share the truth and the gospel!

Because this world is hurting. We see it all day everyday!

This world doesn't need our opinions, judgments or posts. It needs us to be so saturated in the Word and in God's presence that we can give them what they are truly needing...JESUS!

We won't see the needs around us if we are so caught up in the world around us, we won't even hear them when they are screaming out for help.

No, we must remove ourselves and find our quiet place with the Lord, EVERYDAY. He will help us see and He will help us go and He will help us love.

Father,
I am overwhelmed with the needs. Help me to see through your eyes. Help me to be ready to be your hands and feet in my mission field. Forgive me Father for getting caught up in the nonsense when I could be spending that time with you getting ready for the task at hand. Use me Lord. Use little broken me. Help me to love without conditions or judgments. Help us all Lord. Father I pray that every reader would have an insatiable hunger for You and Your Word. In Jesus name. Amen.