When it hurts more than words

Today my heart hurts so much that I don’t really have words to describe.
Today I am wishing I had super powers. Today I wish I could roll back time and change a few things. Today I wish I would have known then what I know now.

Time is too short. Life is too precious.

 We just don’t know when the end will come. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We don’t know nearly as much as we think we do. We know so little.

Where is God when we are hurting?

Psalm 34:18-19 - “The Lord is close to those whose hearts have been broken. He saves those whose Spirits have been crushed.”

Where is God? He is right there with us. Closer than ever before. I am so thankful for that truth, that promise.

I feel as though my heart has been broken repeatedly over the last few weeks. From the death of a friend to the needs of my students to the brokenness of many around me and my own brokenness.

It can be a lonely place when others think you have it all together or when your brokenness & imperfections have negatively affected someone you love. Mommying can be a lonely place. Ministry can be a lonely place. Grief can be a lonely place. Loving completely can be a lonely place.

The truth is, WE ARE NEVER ALONE. The Creator of the Universe is in constant pursuit of us and He is ever so near. Will I see Him? Will I acknowledge Him? Will I come to Him? Will I obey him?

The truth is, He has already gone ahead of me and knows the way. Will I follow Him?

At then end of the day, I want more of Jesus. I want to make Him happy. I want to walk well. I want His forgivenwss. I want right relationship with him. I want all of these things more than I want understanding and escape.

Father, Thank you for being close to the broken-hearted. We need you. There is so much hurt around me right now and always. There is so much hurt inside me. Thank you for giving me the capacity to love but I want to love even more. Father help me to just be better. Help me see you and receive you more. Father I pray for comfort for the hurting and peace that transcends all understanding in the days, weeks, months and years ahead. I pray that you would hold them up and draw them close. I pray that you would encourage them and strengthen them. In Jesus name. Amen.