When the capacity to connect is all but gone.

 Hello again readers (if anyone is out there),

I have been thinking the past few days about what the different seasons of our lives can look like. I have been surprised at the drastic change in my own capacity to reach out and connect in this season of my life. 

Anyone ever struggled there too?

I find it quite difficult to talk on the phone for long periods of time like I used to. I find it difficult to remember birthdays and other holidays now. 

There was once a season where I stayed on the phone chatting away and I never missed a birthday or holiday. I love birthdays and holidays. 

I find that now when I think about those things it makes me increasingly tired. I feel like I am going to fail to celebrate even before I begin. 

Planning birthday parties for my children is so stressful and taxing. However, I love birthdays and I love celebrating that my loved ones were born. It is so so important to me. Yet, I find myself failing at it.

Remembering important things comes as a struggle, even with my two planners and iPhone calendar. 

What in the world? 

Is it old age? Is it going back to work? Is it cellphone use? Is it emotions?

I do not have the answer. Likely it is a great combination of all of the above.

Are you there too friend? Are you feeling like you are disconnected and have zero energy to find your way back. 

Let's pray together that the Lord will help us in this area...

Jesus, right now we are struggling in the area of connection. We want to connect and reach out and love our people big but we are finding that difficult in this particular season. We know that you know the where's and why's of it all. We ask Lord that you reveal to us the things that we can do better and different. We ask that you be our strength in our weaknesses. We ask Jesus that you speak to our hearts and help us find our way back. Lord, we trust you and we love you and we know that you have our very best interests at heart ALWAYS. So we ask you to lead us and guide us and help us to be obedient. In Jesus' name. Amen

We did it

We made it through a pandemic. Yes, we sure did.

How is it that one day we are living life as usual and the next the world shuts down? How crazy that we took so many things for granted. 

How is it that now on the other side of that, here we are once again taking those same things for granted?

I am so thankful for the opportunity to take the "normal" things for granted. 

However, we will never quite be the same. We have experienced the effects of loss on a grand scale. We have experienced the effects of isolation. We have experienced the effects of mass unknown. We have experienced church from online and from the parking lot.

No, I don't think we will ever be the same. I hope that we have grown and learned new ways to seek the Lord and find Him. I hope we have learned that God is never far away no matter what we are facing. I hope we have learned the immense value of being together in the church with a body of believers. I hope we have learned that we are important to the body of Christ in every season. 

Life looks a bit different. 

Family looks a bit different.

Ministry looks a bit different.

Since I last wrote I have reentered the workforce. I now work in the boys' school in the lunchroom. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! I love the work, I love the kids, I love my coworkers, I love it all! 

Our family now looks a bit different. We have embraced some sweet young ladies from our church and have included them into our family and we love them and their families so much. We love getting to do life with this and watching them grow in their walk with the Lord. We are so so proud that they want to be a part of what God is doing in us as well.

Ministry looks different as well. Not only because the pandemic changed us but because I have now stepped into the roll of Interim Youth Pastor at our church. I love what I get to do. I love my kids. I love my youth. I love the families of this church completely. Hubs is still the BEST CHILDRENS PASTOR I have ever known. He is patient, creative, so incredibly hard working and HE LOVES THIS COMMUNITY with all of his heart.

We did it. We didn't give up when the world got scary. We didn't quit fighting to get back inside the church. We didn't quit listening to the direction of the Lord even though it was a bit of a roller coaster for a bit. We didn't stop loving when our hearts were broken. We did it. 

WE did it. God at the lead and us closely following. We could NEVER have made it without HIM. He pulled us through. He has been faithful to be faithful through EVERY twist, turn, ups and downs!

Welcome back to Faith, Family & Ministry! I hope you'll stay a while and share in this journey with me.

Where Are You?

"Where are you? Where are you?"

I cry out, "where are you?" It is dark and I feel lost, alone, and scared. 

He gently whispers, "I am here where I have always been. My Daughter, where have you been?"

I sigh, because I immediately know that once again I have been on a journey without my Lord. I have left Him waiting for my return.

I hang my head. I am ashamed and embarrassed.

He gently lifts my chin. We lock hearts. And the embrace that comes next is one that releases the breath that I did not even know I had been holding for all this time. The embrace lasts for a long time. When He pulls back I feel a freedom that I had been longing for, for far too long.

This is the cycle of my life. I set out on my own path, with my own plan all too often and leave my Lord waiting on my return. Where He picks up the pieces and cleans up the mess I made and continues to love me without condition or exception.

My Lord is so so good and so so faithful. He gives though I do not deserve. 

He was and is and is to come. He has and will always be. 

His love is different than the love of this world and this generation. I am truly thankful and glad.

I want to love like Him. I want to give like Him. I want to be like Him.

I fail often. I disappoint often. I leave often. Too often. 

He never leaves. He never fails. He never disappoints. He loves me.

He loves you. More than you could ever fathom. More that I can ever fathom.

He calls out to you, "where are you my beloved?"

How will you answer?

Lord Jesus,

I pray right now for every reader. I pray for the light to finally break through the darkness. I pray for the truth to finally destroy all lies. I pray that Your love would transform their life the way that it has transformed mine and beyond. I pray for courage to believe and follow. I pray for grace and mercy to embrace them. I pray for the embrace that they have been longing for all of their lives. In Jesus' mighty name I pray. Amen.

September 2020 Life Update

 Hi Loves,

It has been too long. There is no particular reason that I have not been writing. I have been quite unmotivated. Possibly a little overwhelmed and maybe a little burn out.

So here we are beginning September of the craziest year I can remember. 2020 has definitely been something.

Currently my boys are sitting at their cubies working on school. Today has been full of coloring, cutting, gluing and practicing our writing and drawing shapes. 

Due to Covid we are having school virtually for the first nine weeks at least. I personally am praying that the kids get to go back to face to face school in November!

E is starting his Kindergarten year and I am working with G on preschool things so that he too is learning. 

I also started tracking points on Weight Watchers again after jumping off the wagon when quarantine started and crashing to the ground. I gained and am now started at a higher weight than when I began last October. But, I know this program works and I want to work it and keep working it until the healthy habits become the norm.

It is now Friday. What a week we have had. A good, different and somewhat exhausting week. 

Easton logs on to his school iPad each morning at 8:00am and has a live Google meeting with his teacher. She is wonderful and positive and joyful and such a blessing! Later he has PE on Google meet and then we log back on with his teacher. This is what school looks like for us right now and we are thankful to have made it through the first week. 

This mama is praying that our students get to go back to face to face learning as soon as this first nine weeks are over. 

So we made it and now we get a THREE day weekend and I think that was well designed for all of us!!

Happy Labor Day Weekend to you all!

Thoughts while quarantined...

I want you all to know that currently I am FILLED with overwhelming THANKFULNESS and PEACE.

Does it make any sense...NO!

I have as much to be frustrated with as the next person.

Our jobs are uncertain.
Our vacation was cancelled.
My trip to see my best friend was cancelled.
My son is home from school way earlier than I expected.
All of my social outings are cancelled.

But let this sink in as you read...

I am full of so much THANKFULNESS for so many things...

1. Family Time at home. 
2. Opportunities that I was "too distracted" for have become realities.
3. Technology - 1. To see the way the church has spread the gospel online is truly incredible.
4. Technology - 2. To keep in touch with loved ones.
5. Our back yard.
6. The mostly gorgeous weather.
7. Making meals TOGETHER.
8. Disney+ - let's face it...it is a perfect life saver during these days!
9. Joy, unspeakable joy! Because my joy does NOT come from these circumstances!
10. The world slowing down. How would we ever get this opportunity to slow down and count what matters most. 

There is so much more but I just wanted to spread a little joy and positive things. There are here! 
These are unprecedented times for sure. But we still have so much to be thankful for.

I am praying for God to turn all that the enemy meant for evil to good. I know that is His heart. I am also praying for God to teach me all that He wants for me to learn during this unique time. I am also praying for protection and safety. 

Lord, what a unique time we are in. I know that none of this takes You by surprise. I am praying the words of the song The Blessing by Kari Jobe and Cody Carnes...
May His presence go before you
And behind you, and beside you
All around you, and within you
He is with you, He is with you

In the morning, in the evening
In your coming, and your going
In your weeping, and rejoicing
He is for you, He is for you

Lord you are good and worthy even in these different and difficult times. We trust YOU and we know that YOU will turn what the enemy wants to use for evil into so much GOOD!!
In Jesus' name. Amen

Life Update - A change in seasons

Hi friends!

I know it has been a long time since I have written. I'll admit that I got pretty lost in he season that I was in. Having two strong-willed toddler boys at home was all consuming.

However, our season has changed. E is now in K4 and he is thriving. G and I are home and I can admit that it is so much easier having one instead of two. G also happens to be the easier of the two in some aspects. I honestly think that it is just easier having one. 

Less fighting and bickering. Less cups to fill and mouths to feed. Less bodies to keep track of. It is just easier.

I have moved into a season where I am getting to pour back into me through bible studies. 

Oh there have been many days since becoming a mom that I have sincerely missed the days when I was able to read and study the bible for hours on end...every single day!

I am so thankful to once again be in a season where I spend hours studying the bible. I have not had this luxury since Bible College!

I am attending a women's bible study with our church on Thursday nights where we are studying through the Armor of God by Priscilla Shirer! This study is SO GOOD! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!

I am also doing a short devotion with my husband everyday and it is so good to discuss the bible together and our thoughts on the devotions.

G and I also attend a community bible study on Friday mornings where he gets to learn the same thing that I am learning in his class. We are studying Acts and letters of the apostles. I am loving the community of this group so much and the study is great too. 

I am indeed very thankful for this season! I am thankful that my children are thriving and I also am thriving. I will enjoy this wonderful season as long as it lasts. I appreciate it so much after coming out of a tougher season with both boys at home.

We have had a wonderful summer though I admit that I am sooo over the heat!  It is officially fall but it certainly does not feel like fall here in the deep south!

Father, thank you for the changing of seasons both in the weather and in our lives. I am so thankful that you are constantly leading us and guiding us as the days change and we enter new seasons through out our lives. What a joy it is to have and Heavenly Father to walk with me in this life. I am so very thankful that you saved me from the darkness and through your son Jesus, you brought me into the light! Thank you for this season of being able to pour into your Word and grow. Help me to cherish every single moment! In Jesus' name. Amen.

Letting Go

I am letting go of the things the enemy of my soul wants me to carry into this new year.

I am letting go of the lies he has told me.
“You are not good enough.”
“You are not worthy of love.”
“You cannot do that, you’re not equipped.”
“You are not a good mom.”
“You are damaging your children.”
“You are not a good friend, wife, daughter, sister & leader.”
“You mess up too much.”
"They are never going to love you."

I am letting go of the hurts and offenses.

I am letting go of my mistakes and the guilt that I allow to plague me.

I am letting go of the negative thoughts and the whining & complaining speech.

I am letting go of the list of things that did not get done.

I am letting go.

I am pressing on.

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

Yes I am pressing on.

I am choosing to LEARN everything I can from each of the mistakes that I made but I WILL PRESS ON!

Father, Teach me. Help me to see and learn. Help me to let go of all of the things that the enemy would use to hold me back. I trust YOU. I FOLLOW you. I BELIEVE that you can and will still use me in all of my imperfections and weaknesses. Thank you for not requiring perfection. Thank you for still using me. I cannot wait to see all that YOU have in store for 2019. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.