Fear

Fear.

We have been teaching on fear for many weeks now. Not only have I been teaching about it to children and women but God has been teaching ME about it as well.

What have I learned about fear?

• It is one of the main tools of the enemy. He wants us to be completely distracted and immobilized by it. He is good at what he does.

• The Bible talks about fear 365 times through out, once for everyday of the year. I fully believe that is no coincidence.

• Many times when the Bible says "Do not fear" it is followed by, "I am with you." 
• Isiah 41:10 - "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
• Matthew 14:27 - "But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

• Fear needs to come up and OUT of us so that God can replace that fear with good things.

This is a quote that has popped up in my Facebook feed this week:
"Faith changes your perspective from saying "I'm afraid" to saying "I'm excited." - Steve Mason

• This is the exact story of my life. Many of my fears have been turned into things that I am very excited about!
• Public Speaking
• Rain Storms (obviously not bad ones)
• Being alone
• Praying out loud
• Singing/worshiping in front of others

As we have been teaching about fear there have been many fears bubble up inside of me and I have been able to let it come up, feel it, let it go and allow God to connect pieces of my past and present and allow Him to fill me with TRUTH.

I had three days of intense fears and feelings coming up and out of me. And while those three days were hard they were good because I was able to learn more about myself and release more fears to the Lord.

Over the next blog post or two I am going to be sharing some of our teaching about fear in hopes that it too will bless you, free you and help you grow so much more in the Lord just like I have.

What a wonderful thing it is to let go of the things holding us back and have freedom in Jesus Christ our Lord!

Father, today I pray for the one trapped in fear. I pray for freedom. I pray that these readers would be able to easily identify their fears and that you would speak TRUTH to those fears. Jesus I pray that you would light up the darkness of these lies (fears) and that they would begin to immediately walk in freedom and truth. Father I thank you for all that you have done and for all that you are going to do. In Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.

Roots

The other day I had a cringe-worthy realization. Sometimes I get down right petty with my boys. I get tired and grumpy, and then get on to them about petty things.

Ugh, who wants a mom like that!

I am thankful to have learned that recognition is half of the battle. I do not plan to continue to be petty with my boys. It is something I will be working to stop and change.

But how?

Well, my plan is to find the roots. Where does this pettiness come from? What triggers this inside of me?

As I was thinking about this today I believe I might have found a connecting piece to this new puzzle/battle.

Control. Oh how I love to try to control my surroundings.

I happen to know the roots (there are many) of my control issues, but I had never connected it to this new irritating pettiness.

I understand control to be an illusion, though I make myself quite comfortable in that illusion regularly. I love my illusion of control and hold tightly to it, even though I know that it is just an illusion.

Crazy! Right?

When I feel things begin to spin out of control, which happens quickly when I am tired or grumpy, I begin to try to control all of the petty little things. It builds so quickly, and before I know it, I am literally fussing about EVERYTHING. I fuss about things that I know I would normally not get upset about.

So the root of my petty fussing is control and the root of my control issues is...well a long story, but I am well aware of the root.

So now what?

(I am piecing this together as I write to you reader)

So, now I try to catch myself BEFORE I begin get petty and controlling. I PRACTICE stopping in the midst or preferably BEFORE I get to that point. I apologize to those I am being petty to and try to regroup as quickly as possible.

And by regroup, I mean stop and ask Jesus to come into the moment immediately when I recognize the battle.

Roots...roots are often hidden far beneath the surface but it is worth our while to dig deep and identify them. I believe that it is then that we can really begin to win the battle.

What are the roots of your battles? What are your battles?
Fear? Control? Pettiness? Complaining? Gossiping? Anger? Jealousy?

Jesus,
I ask you right now to come into our moments, make yourself known and felt. I pray that we would be able to easily identify the battles and the roots and that we would allow YOU to come in and dispel the lies of our enemy, the devil. I pray Jesus that you would fill us with your wisdom and discernment. I pray Jesus that you would help us to have clear vision and that you would help us to be willing to find the cause inside of us instead of pointing the finger else where. I thank you Jesus for the learning that when something comes up that displeases us the first place we are to look in within OURSELVES and not point the finger at another. Help me to see if there is any offensive way in me. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen

Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting

Psalm 139:23-24

Vulnerability

Recently, the Lord asked me to do something that was outside of my comfort zone. Well, if I am being honest, He has a way of continually pulling me outside of my comfort zone and right into a place of vulnerability.

I do not love the feeling of being vulnerable or exposed. But, it is there in that place that I learn the most. Why? Because I cannot rely on myself. I have to rely on HIM. If only I could learn to rely on Him without having to be shoved out of my comfortable places.

Many things about my life, as it currently is, are well outside of my comfort zone. I am a stay at home mom. For the first time since I was 15, I am completely dependent on someone else. My mom, the strongest woman I have ever known, taught me how to work hard and take care of myself. And that is exactly what I did. But as a stay at home mom, I bring in no income of my own. This is most definitely outside of my original comfort zone. I am learning to be comfortable with it, because I no longer depend on myself or even my amazing husband, but on the God who called me here and who is trustworthy. Also, as a stay at home mom, I have the most important job: raising up two precious little boys. Oh boy, oh boy, does this ever take me out of my comfort zone.

We just currently bought a house. Yes, this too makes me uncomfortable. I have always had a landlord to call when things tear up or need repair. Not anymore! We are responsible! That is a vulnerable place to be for me.

Speaking to women. VULNERABLE, oh so so vulnerable. But I absolutely LOVE it. Who would have ever thought? Certainly not me.

Moving away from my family was the hardest thing I have ever done. I had never been away from my mom and the rest of my family. God, said "Go" and it was UNCOMFORTABLE. Vulnerable.

All of these places of vulnerability force me to stop depending on myself and others, and depend on God. That is where he wants us to be, in a place where we depend on Him. Why? Because He is trustworthy and I believe that is the place where we are truly the closest to being who He created us to be.

I am learning to love the places of vulnerability because they draw me closer to my number one, my Heavenly Father. He created us to live in constant union with Him and so much of this world takes us away from that and distracts us. So much of my flesh distracts and removes me from union and relationship with my CREATOR.

God knows us better than anyone on this earth ever could. He knows what we need and when we need it. I don't know about you, but, I want to be in constant union and relationship with my Creator, the one who knows what's best for me.

You see, God's feelings and hurts never cloud his judgement. He literally always does what is best for us.

I want to be vulnerable. Anyone want to join me?

Heavenly Father - Creator,
Let us reside in a place of total dependency on You. Let us know in our knowers that You are entirely and completely trustworthy. Let us live as close to you as is possible this side of Heaven. I ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen.