Vulnerability

Recently, the Lord asked me to do something that was outside of my comfort zone. Well, if I am being honest, He has a way of continually pulling me outside of my comfort zone and right into a place of vulnerability.

I do not love the feeling of being vulnerable or exposed. But, it is there in that place that I learn the most. Why? Because I cannot rely on myself. I have to rely on HIM. If only I could learn to rely on Him without having to be shoved out of my comfortable places.

Many things about my life, as it currently is, are well outside of my comfort zone. I am a stay at home mom. For the first time since I was 15, I am completely dependent on someone else. My mom, the strongest woman I have ever known, taught me how to work hard and take care of myself. And that is exactly what I did. But as a stay at home mom, I bring in no income of my own. This is most definitely outside of my original comfort zone. I am learning to be comfortable with it, because I no longer depend on myself or even my amazing husband, but on the God who called me here and who is trustworthy. Also, as a stay at home mom, I have the most important job: raising up two precious little boys. Oh boy, oh boy, does this ever take me out of my comfort zone.

We just currently bought a house. Yes, this too makes me uncomfortable. I have always had a landlord to call when things tear up or need repair. Not anymore! We are responsible! That is a vulnerable place to be for me.

Speaking to women. VULNERABLE, oh so so vulnerable. But I absolutely LOVE it. Who would have ever thought? Certainly not me.

Moving away from my family was the hardest thing I have ever done. I had never been away from my mom and the rest of my family. God, said "Go" and it was UNCOMFORTABLE. Vulnerable.

All of these places of vulnerability force me to stop depending on myself and others, and depend on God. That is where he wants us to be, in a place where we depend on Him. Why? Because He is trustworthy and I believe that is the place where we are truly the closest to being who He created us to be.

I am learning to love the places of vulnerability because they draw me closer to my number one, my Heavenly Father. He created us to live in constant union with Him and so much of this world takes us away from that and distracts us. So much of my flesh distracts and removes me from union and relationship with my CREATOR.

God knows us better than anyone on this earth ever could. He knows what we need and when we need it. I don't know about you, but, I want to be in constant union and relationship with my Creator, the one who knows what's best for me.

You see, God's feelings and hurts never cloud his judgement. He literally always does what is best for us.

I want to be vulnerable. Anyone want to join me?

Heavenly Father - Creator,
Let us reside in a place of total dependency on You. Let us know in our knowers that You are entirely and completely trustworthy. Let us live as close to you as is possible this side of Heaven. I ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen.