Rain

The past two days in a row it has rained. This is a good thing. I hadn't even realized how much we needed the rain until it came, and I realized I had not seen rain in a while.

You know sometimes we are cruising along in life, and one day we look up and realize we have been riding the struggle bus, and we didn't even realize it. Sometimes it is hard for us to see that we've been frustrated and angry more often than not.

I remember in the spring of last year, I was captain of the struggle bus. I found myself frustrated, angry and overwhelmed...ALL OF THE TIME.

I remember the very moment that God sent the rain that I so desperately needed. We were two days into our new church's camp meeting (where we have revival type services every night) and I was standing at the altar full of confusion and terror. You see, I was overwhelmed with my roll as stay at home mom to TWO under TWO. I would be angry and frustrated at my boys all day because I had no idea what I was doing. I had a strong-willed almost two year old and a screaming infant. My responses to those difficult little beings was to scream back and loose my cool...all day. But then at night, we would go to church and have these amazing kids services where God would use me to minister to these kids in such big and wonderful ways. I mean the Spirit of God was really moving in our services.

So there I was, standing at the altar during adult worship one night, full of confusion and terror, wondering how on earth I could be one person during the day and another at night. THEN CAME THE RAIN.

God poured out His Spirit onto/into me and it was as refreshing as a summer rain after a long drought. Until that moment I didn't realize exactly how much drought I had been in. I just BROKE and allowed my tired spirit to be drenched in God's rain.

I was reminded that I am not two people, but one broken and growing CHILD OF GOD just trying to do the best I could to glorify Him. Yes I was failing but the battle wasn't over yet. And right then, when I needed it most to keep fighting, God sent His rain.

Here I am, a little more than a year later, and I am no longer completely overwhelmed by my wonderful little crazies. We laugh most of the day....I LAUGH MOST OF THE DAY now and we get out of the house and play and do things.

I am no longer captain of the struggle bus, though I do hitch a ride on occasion. But without that moment with God, that spiritual drenching I do not think I would be at this point.

God brought the rain but I had to allow it to saturate me. I had to admit that I NEEDED IT DESPERATELY.

I am still not the mom that I want to be. I still have a lot of work to do. I still want to be more gentle and react less out of frustration and anger. I still fail and I still make mistakes. But the difference is...I no longer feel hopeless and I am able to see clearly that God is right here with me and that he sees me.

Many times these days we will stop right in the middle of a melt down...mine or the boys'...and we invite Jesus into the moment. Friends, let me just tell you...THAT MAKES ALL OF THE DIFFERENCE.

So maybe you are reading this and you realize you're in a drought. That you haven't seen the rain in far too long. That you haven't invited Jesus into your moment, into this stretch of your journey...I want you to know. It's not too late. God is ready to pour out the rain. He desires for you to be refreshed and ready to continue to battle. You are not alone. I have been there and we can walk this road together with Jesus captaining the JOY WAGON!!

Won't you join me here on the JOY WAGON?

Lord Jesus,
I pray for this reader, the one who is at wits end and needs YOUR RAIN. I pray for JOY, HOPE, PEACE and LIFE to flood them at this very moment. I pray they would feel your love pouring down on them like warm sunshine right after the most refreshing rain. I pray for a flooding of the Holy Spirit to refresh and revive them. I pray that they would know in their knower that they are not alone. Be all that they need in this moment and in every moment. In Jesus name I pray. Amen