What I do not want to give my boys

There are many aspects of parenting that are difficult. Being careful not to project my fears onto my boys is one that I have recently discovered. This is not as hard as other aspects of parenting but was just an interesting thing to realize.

I was a very fearful child growing up and I do not want my boys to be the same.

Let me give you an example. I do not like lizards. One could say that I am afraid of them. I do not want to touch them or be near them and watching them crawl across my porch or on the side of my house gives me the hibbie jibbies.

However, I do not want my boys to be afraid. So when I see a lizard I call my boys over and encourage them to look at it and watch it. I do this so that they can experience something even though I am afraid of them. I encourage them to look and not touch. I am sure at some point in their little boy lives they will touch and probably hold one just not around me. I know that is probably very wishful thinking.

I have also experienced this with under water tunnels as well. I have worked really hard to overcome my irrational fear of the under water tunnel here in our city so that my boys will not be afraid of it. This is hard because I really hate that tunnel, but the truth is that my fear is irrational. I have to stand on that truth and allow my husband to take me through the tunnel so that I can overcome this silly fear.

When I think about all the things that I want to give to my children, fear is NOT one of them

The bible talks about fear many times. In fact the words "fear not" occur 365 times throughout the bible. That is no accident. God loves us and wants us to live a life of love and action,  not a life of fear.

1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

Rick Warren puts it this way, "Christians must work through their faith and relationship with God to take away fear's control over them."

God wants us to live without fear so that we can live the life He has created us to live.

My heart is that I can teach these amazing boys to be smart and respectful of certain things (snakes, spiders, fire, etc.) and to live with the strength and courage that the Lord created us to have. I want them to try things, to not fear failure or be afraid to live life fully.

This is something that I have to think about in certain moments when I am experience feelings of fear.

Feelings lie. Fear is a liar.

Zach Williams in his song Fear is a Liar says it like this...

Fear, he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire
'Cause fear he is a liar

No, I sure do not want to be the one who teaches my boys to believe the lies of the enemy. But that sure is difficult. Not impossible. 

I believe we just have to work hard to be who God created us to be and trust Him. I believe we have to seek Him to help give us wisdom with our children and be open to His teaching, correcting and His healing.

I used to have many more fears that would have very likely been things that I would have passed right along to my boys. God was gracious and allowed me to work through many of those before I had children. I have more to work through still though. 

I want to keep close to the Lord so that I can hear his whispers as things come up. I want to stay close to Him so that He can continue His great work in me. I want to model a strong and healthy relationship with God in front of my boys. I want to allow Him to work through me to teach them to be brave and courageous in their walk with the Lord. 

Father,
Thank you for allowing me to see this battle. Thank you for your continual healing in my life. Thank you for not only loving me but for loving my boys. I know that you will be their good good Father just as you are mine. I pray that they would come to know you, learn to love you and live to serve you all the days of their life. I pray that they would not allow fear to lie to them but that they would live lives of courage. Father I give them to you and I trust you. Father I ask you for wisdom continuously so that I may be the best mom for these two amazing boys. In Jesus name. Amen.