Control

I am learning everyday how little control I have. I was one of those moms that thought, prior to having children, that I would be able to just say something, then stand my ground, and my children would comply.

Wrong. So so so wrong.

The reality is, the harder I dig my heels in, the worse they respond. Sigh. Oh how very little I know about parenting.

I have learned that there are things that you just have absolutely NO CONTROL over.

For example, my little guy G loves shoes. So while we were in Ross tonight looking for Daddy some new shoes, lil man became very upset because he was not getting to try on new shoes. NO CONTROL OVER THIS. It's absurd actually that this would cause a fit but it did. He got to take his shoes off and try on Daddy's new shoes. Boom! Tantrum over. WHAT!!!??? Insane.

Example number two: Our big boy had two stickers on his cheeks when he went to bed. This was mom's fault. I found a pack of hidden stickers inside the pull up package and got excited because I know how much they love stickers, and gave them both stickers.  So when the stickers came off while E was in the bed, he threw a fit. NO CONTROL OVER THIS. Daddy tried to assert control as E was screaming in his face by giving him a spanking. Nope. Digging heels in did not work. I mean, it just seems logical to me that you should be able to look at your child, say no or stop, and that be that. No, E flew into an absolute fit. I was finally able to get him to calm down by praying. That boy loves stickers. The whole situation was absurd. Insane.

Control. I have very little.

Now don't get me wrong. There are things that are non-negotiable. There are things that they know we will not tolerate.

It is these other things that just astound me. The complete off the wall things that I just don't see coming. Like shoes or stickers. The ridiculous battles that blow me away.

Parenting is hard. It has been the thing that teaches me, more than any other, that control is absolutely an illusion. Control is not real.

This makes me so very sad. I love my illusion of control and cling to it. (See previous blog post about that here Roots).

Father,
Help me to continually let go of my desire to control. Thank you for teaching me that control is just an illusion and for continuing to teach me that over and over. I need it, clearly. Lord, I pray that you would help us as we guide these children. Help us to have your discernment and wisdom. Help us to see through your eyes. Help us in every single way Lord. We need you so much.  Thank you for your help and for your love. Thank you for who you are. In Jesus name. Amen.