Squishy turns TWO

Yesterday we woke up and celebrated our sweet little G all day long!

Our youngest, G, whom I call my Squishy is now TWO!

How fun it has been to watch him grow and learn these two years!

I did not wake up sad. I woke up excited! I am so proud of this two year old and how he has grown and all of the things he has learned.

He walked early, talked early and can do just about everything that his older brother can do! He is smart, sweet and he really is squishy! He is so snuggly!!

I woke up excited that we made it! Parenting two boys so close in age has been the hardest challenge I have faced so far! But waking up to my lil guy turning TWO felt like a turning point for us! I am excited to watch him grow everyday and help him learn!

I love that we are past the infant stage and are now entering into such a fun phase with both boys. They are so fun and FUNNY!! They are PURE JOY!!

Here's to many many more years watching them learn and grow!

Happy Birthday my Squishy! I love you so much!

I love how you get SO EXCITED about the little things. I love that you LOVE life! I love your sweet little voice. I love how excited you are to see me in the mornings and that you wake up happy. I love how you love your brother and daddy so much. I love your snuggles and giggles. I love your precious moments eyes! I love your big appetite! I love your long shaggy hair and your long eyelashes. I love your blue eyes. I love how much you love to "read that book". I love how you laugh so big when I let you get my low five. I love so much about you!

Father,
Thank you for the gift of these amazing boys! Thank you for sharing them with us and for helping us to parent them. Thank you for the wonder that they are. I pray that they would come to know you, learn to love you, allow you to love them and live to serve You allll the days of their lives. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.


I leave you with a picture of sweet newborn Squishy!

The Missing Ingredient

As I sit here today reflecting back on the last several months and thinking of all of the things the Lord is working and stirring up in me and all that He is teaching me. I realize that I have been missing one VERY important ingredient.

Many have noticed and been affected by the lack of this ingredient in my life. I have recently heard it put this way...We effect the atmosphere wherever we go. We can have a positive effect or negative effect. If I am full of God and have this secret (but not really so secret) ingredient then I effect the atmosphere with God's presence and in the most positive ways. But if I am not filled with God and the things of God or His presence then all I bring to the atmosphere is myself. The truth of that is this. I have nothing of worth to give. But God has EVERYTHING of worth to give.

What is this ingredient that I have been lacking? What is the missing ingredient in my life these days?

JOY.

Sadly, when I look back on the last little while I see such a lack of Joy.

Joy is a FREE gift and it comes from the LORD alone. Joy should have NOTHING to do with my circumstances, feelings or daily life. No one can TAKE my joy from me.

Here is the ugly truth. I chose to give it up. No one took it from me, nothing took it from me. I chose to give it up.

Anyone else just shudder?

I am thankful that I can think back and find moments where I had joy but as a whole I gave my joy up. I allowed situations, hurt, and daily stresses to steal my joy.

Many have been affected by this. Many have even been hurt by this. That is simply the hard truth.

Also as hurtful is the truth that time cannot be regained. It is simply gone. But not wasted because of all that I have learned.

I have learned so much in this valley that I have found myself in these past few months. I am learning SO MUCH.

I do fully believe that it is in the valleys that we learn the most about ourselves. I am thankful, so thankful for the things that I am learning and re-learning.

Two major "re-learnings" have occurred in me recently.

1. God has been speaking to me about giving the gift of unconditional love. Especially this Christmas season.
2. He has also shown me that I am lacking my Joy. The free gift of Joy that comes from my relationship with Him and not from my circumstances.

You see I am "re-learning" both of these lessons.  Though these lessons have come to me separately they are not separate at all.

John 15:9-17 says this, "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other."

Love and Joy are connected!

To sum it all up...If I am obeying HIS commands and loving unconditionally; loving the unlovely then my joy will be complete. If I am filling up on His presence, His word & His promises then I will effect the atmosphere wherever I go with THOSE things instead of me.

Several have been affected by ME lately and let me just say...it has not had the outcome that my heart or God's heart would desire.

I want to be a student of people and not a critic. When I walk around only full of me I find myself way more critical than I should ever be. But if I am a student of those around me, I can learn about them and love them. If I am loving them, listening to them and full of HIM then I am not critical. I am bubbling with JOY and can give unconditional love. (SOOOOOO much learning lately!!!)

I want to LOVE bigger, walk in unspeakable JOY and effect the atmosphere with HIS presence. And I truly want to be a student rather than a critic ALWAYS.

Father,
Forgive me. Forgive me for taking so long to see the whole of what you have been trying to teach me. Forgive me for the ways that I have affected the atmosphere that are NOT pleasing to you or that do not bring you glory. Forgive me Father and I pray that those who have been affected by this missing ingredient will forgive me too. Thank you Father for never giving up on me, for never turning your back on me no matter how much my behavior, thoughts, words and actions must break your heart. Thank you for never shutting me out. Thank you for always pursuing me, loving me and teaching me. Father, I desire to LOVE just like you. Unconditionally. No matter what hurts, attitudes, words, actions, situations, lies, misunderstandings, life, stresses, or lack comes my way. Help me to see all the ugly in my heart so that YOU can clean it up and so that I may bring YOU glory in all that I do and say. Always. Thank you also Father for friends who stand with me no matter what season I find myself in and who pray for me and point me back to you. I am so grateful. In Jesus' sweet name I pray. Amen.

The most wonderful time of the year!!

Hello my readers! I have been MIA!!

I have been a tad overwhelmed with the lessons I have been learning and with the busyness of the season!

We have so many wonderful things going on!

Let me start by BRAGGING on my AMAZING husband! He is so incredible and I am loving watching him live out his calling as a Children's Pastor. He was CLEARLY born to do this.

He is starting a First Priority Bible Club at one of our local Elementary Schools TOMORROW and hopes to begin at another Elementary School in January!!

He spoke at one of the Elementary Schools this morning at one of their ceremonies! Oh my! To say that I am proud of this man just DOES NOT cover it!

He plans our weekly services and our outreaches with anointing, zeal and so much creativity that it blows me away. He loves these kids will all of himself and still loves his family and takes time with us as well!

HE IS MY MR. WONDERFUL!

I am currently working along side a new ministry that some precious ladies dreamed up to bless women in our community that are struggling with drug addiction. I am just mainly moral support but I am loving getting to work with them.

I am planning our Christmas party which is this week and cannot wait to spend time with my wonderful ladies! I love these women so much!

Recently I had the opportunity to speak at a neighboring church's Thanksgiving lunch. It was an incredible blessing to bring a word to women who are fighting to break free from drug and alcohol addiction! The Lord gave me a very specific word and it was uncomfortable and WONDERFUL!!

I am also working with our wonderful church kiddos on our annual Christmas Musical and I am so incredibly proud of my cast and choir! I cannot wait to see them perform in TWO WEEKS!!

Thursday night begins our Christmas Parties and I am so excited! I love Christmas and I love parties!!

We also have G's birthday party coming up!! He was my Christmas baby born on the 21st!! He will be 2 this year! We are having a small family party at our house with Spaghetti and Chocolate cake!

We have almost completed our Christmas shopping for the boys. We do the 5 gift rule. Something to READ. (Done thanks to my Usborne Book Facebook party!) Something they want! (Done thanks to Black Friday shopping done by my hubby!) Something they want. (Easton wants "Blue Puzzles" so we'll be buys some puzzles that hopefully have some blue on them.) Something they need. (We are on the hunt for some Alabama Football shirts) And a gift from Santa. (We got them a green plastic picnic table a while back so that is covered!)

I also managed to buy a couple things for my hubby and one small thing for their stockings. I need more for the stockings for sure!

I also need to get my family's gifts. We draw names to help all of us keep costs low!

I cannot believe Christmas is already hear again!! Oh how I love Christmas! I cannot wait for Christmas morning!

I am planning to do cookies with the boys in a week or two and I am thinking of making Monkey Bread for Christmas morning as well!!

We are also planning to go see the drive through Christmas lights with hot chocolate soon as well!

And our grand finale will be a Birthday Cake for Jesus! I am most excited about this as me and the boys love cake and I am excited to throw a birthday party for Jesus to help us to remember the reason for the season!

Oh what fun this season is! I love sharing all of my favorite things with the boys!

I hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas Season!

Father, I pray that in all the busyness of this season we would all remember why we celebrate to begin with. The birth of our Lord and Savior JESUS CHRIST!! Thank you Jesus for coming to earth in the form of man, born in a stable of all places and for your many sacrifices for your children! I am so thankful for this season and all that it stands for! In Jesus' name. Amen.

Perfection not required

My Good Good Father recently told me this...

“I do not require perfection. I just want you, just as you are. Just exactly as you are. Let my love wash over you. Allow my peace and security to rule in you. I am all you seek and all you need. I am. I can. & I will.”

Perfection is not required. Then why is it that I require it of myself? I do not tolerate mistakes well yet I make them regularly. 

Mistakes, especially those that affect others, knock me down and it is not easy to get back up. I am extremely hard on myself. 

The Lord is not pleased with this. He has been teaching me that I should give grace to myself as I would give it to another. 

This has been a long hard learning for me and one I have yet to grasp fully. 

The Lord is clear about forgiveness in His Word. I am familiar with forgiveness as I require much and I have had to give my fair share. However, when it comes to forgiving myself...let’s just say there is much work left to be done.

Grace is easier to give to someone else. 

Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14 “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭NIV‬‬

This is Paul formerly Saul writing. Saul who murdered, imprisoned & tortured people just because they followed The Way (Jesus)!! This is Paul saying yes I have been imperfect but I must press on and not get deterred. There is a race to win, there is a goal ahead. There is a purpose and a plan to fulfill. 

Press on. We must press on. We must do everything that we can to correct what we have done. We must pay the consequences. Then we must press on.

"God does NOT require perfection just obedience." ~ My Hubby

He wants us to NEVER quit or give up. Press on.

I am in such a hard season currently. One where I feel that the Lord is working in me to sanding off many rough edges. This is a painful process! Ultimately, I want to learn the things I need to learn now and quickly so that I can indeed press on and run the race that is set before me.

Isaiah 64:8 "Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."

I want to be teachable and pliable in His hands. I want to remember that the Master is making a masterpiece. He is not finished with me yet! I need to remember that I am a work in PROGRESS and give myself and others much grace.

Doesn't He do the same. He give grace upon grace.

I will NOT be perfect, as much as I want to be, but I WILL NOT GIVE UP. I will walk through this season allowing the potter to mold me and sand off my rough edges.

Father, I lay myself at Your feet. I ask that you continue your work in me. I am looking forward to my harvest of righteousness and peace according to Hebrews 12:11. I pray for the strength and grace to press on. I pray for joy in this season. I ask for forgiveness and help to learn and grow and allow the sanding to occur. May I not stop the process because it is painful or uncomfortable. Lord, I need you. Every day, hour, minute and second I need you. Help me to lean into you and be more aware of your presence. I love you Lord and I trust You! In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Life these days & other random thoughts

I have sat down so many times to write and have just hit wall after wall. I don't often experience this.

I cannot believe we are already 6 days into November! It is truly amazing how fast time seems to go.

October was a busy month for us but it was good. Hubby and I celebrated 9 years of marriage with a lunch alone. We enjoyed our time together while the boys enjoyed their time with their Boo. 

Our church held a beautiful Pastor Appreciation party for us. We love what we get to do so much and we love this family that we get to be a part of everyday. God has indeed blessed us with and incredible church family and we feel blessed everyday. It is an honor to get to do what we do and we feel that from our head to our toes! 

We had a wonderful Family Fall Festival a few Sundays ago. It was so much fun. The kids in children's church and I started a campaign against my hubs to get him dunked in the dunk tank repeatedly and IT WORKED! We had a blast dunking him and our youth pastor and several others!

Easton had his first dentist appointment. Poor fella has to have fillings this month. I was so disappointed even after we were told that it wasn't because we were not brushing well. I just hate it for the lil man. 

Both boys hit a growth spurt and nearly ate us out of house and home. I couldn't not seem to keep them satisfied. I am not a huge fan of growth spurts because I feel like I don't recognize them for what they are until they are almost over and my poor boys are miserable. 

Hubby put our outside Christmas lights up in October!! We are just so excited to have a house to decorate and could not wait any longer. They look awesome and we all love them so much!! Our trees will be going up just as soon as I can get the house cleaned and organized.

I have been sick for the last several days and have not gotten much done around the house. Both the boys have been a little under the weather too. 

Our days have been starting EARLY since the time change, E likes to get up with the sun. I am going to need to get him some black out curtains so we can sleep past 6am. 

I have noticed that the lighting in my wonderful house has changed with the season and I am loving it. I get more natural light in the kitchen and it just makes my heart so happy. 

The boys and I are a little frustrated with how long it takes for the back yard to dry out so we can go play. We spend most of our time on the front porch if it is not too cool and wet or inside. The boys are already going a bit stir crazy. It may be a long winter season for us. I am going to have to find some creative ways to help the cabin fever!

I am mostly ready for Christmas. We do the 5 gift rule. Something to wear, read, want, need & a santa gift. We have the Santa gift and read covered. I just need to get their wear and want gifts and one other for a family party we're attending. 

We love this time of year! Hubby is loving all of the football on tv and I am loving all the Hallmark movies. We love the cooler weather when we get it. And Christmas is just about to be in full swing! 

Here's to a wonderful month filled with inspiration and fun!

Father,

Thank you for your goodness. Thank you for your unconditional love. Father teach me, show me, change me. Help me to continue on the narrow path and pressing on toward the goal. Help me to forgive freely, love freely, hope freely and strive to be more of the woman that you created me to be. I pray that we would not just survive in this season or the next but that we would thrive and please you. In Jesus name. Amen. 

How the tides have turned.

Have you heard the saying, "the tides have turned"?

Lately I have noticed several different areas in my life where the "tides have turned".  Where one thing has become the opposite of what it was. Some good and some not good.

When I think back on the places I have been and the way things were, I am quite please with how the Lord has allowed the tides to turn in a more favorable way. It took work, lots of work but with the Lord's help and effort the tides turned and there are things that are much better now than before.
I hope that we can all say that there are areas where the Lord has helped us to overcome things and change for the better.

I can also look back and see ways that the tides have turned in an unfavorable way. Pieces of me that when I finally recognize them truly break my heart and some even disgust me.
There have been a couple of situations recently that have caused me stop and to take a good look inward. My initial response was to give in to my sinful nature and to place blame elsewhere but the prompting of the Holy Spirit encourages me to look inward instead of pointing the finger elsewhere.

Pslam 139:23-24 has become my prayer. It says, "Search ME, O God, and know MY heart; test ME and know MY anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in ME, and lead me in THE WAY everlasting."

When I want to point my finger at something or someone else, that is EXACTLY the time when I need to stop and look inward. Desiring to place blame elsewhere, is a tell-tell sign that my sin nature has taken over and I need to quickly turn that finger toward myself ALONE!

Think about it. How are we supposed to recognize sin unless God points it out?

We can trust the Lord with this prayer. Yes, it is initially very uncomfortable to pray and ask God to point out the sin in us and the offensive ways in us. But HE IS TRUSTWORTHY.
God is not a God of condemnation! In fact the opposite is true. God's heart is to convict and save not condemnation. This applies to me and any who may or may not have wronged me.

So when I want to seek justice against something or someone else, God, instead, wants me to pray that those who have hurt or wronged me will turn to him BEFORE he judges them. You see, this is GOD'S HEART, that NONE should perish!

Ultimately I believe that in EVERY situation God desires for us to look to Him for what He can teach us. I want to know if there is any offensive way in me and who better to tell me than MY CREATOR, MY BEST FRIEND, MY GOOD GOOD FATHER? Then, when God shows us, we can repent and be forgiven and we become better and more Christ-like. I want so badly to be more like Christ Jesus EVERYDAY!

If I am not moving forward then I am moving backward. I do not want to go backward. I have worked so hard, with God's help, to get to the place that I am at now and I still have such a long long way to go! There are moments when I absolutely CANNOT wait to get to heaven and BREATHE and finally be done with sin, hurt, pain and shame!

Another scripture that stands out to me is found in Psalm 141:3-4. It says, "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil to take part in wicked deeds." Oh how desperately I need to make this my prayer as well. I admit that I spend far too much time speaking before I think or pray and allowing my heart to be drawn away from God.

If I spent my energy learning about God and learning what God sees in me then I truly would not have the time or desire to waste on wicked deeds (judgmental thoughts, gossip, etc.).

Father,
Forgive me. Forgive me for allowing my heart to be drawn to evil and for taking part in wicked deeds. Forgive me for allowing my time to be wasted elsewhere. Father I pray that you would search me and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Father I pray that you would set a guard over my mouth and keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil or to take part in wicked deeds. Help me to be brave enough to allow you to search me and show me. Give me strength to truly repent and change my behaviors. I need you everyday Lord. I desire to spend more time with YOU so that I can truly be a light to the world around me. Help me to do a better job of bringing You glory with my thoughts and words, deeds and actions. In Jesus' name. Amen.

In the midst of hurt.

What is my response in the midst of hurt? If I am not careful I will cause hurt in the wake of my hurt.

We've all heard the saying, "Hurt people, hurt people." I simply do NOT want to one of THOSE people.

We ARE all going to experience hurt. Some of it caused by our own sinful nature and some of it caused by the sinful nature of others. It is inevitable. It is a given. Hurt WILL happen.

What is my response in the midst of that? Do I lash out? Do I spread it in order to be heard and seen? Do I speak it to be justified and gather others unto me? Or do I gracefully take it back to Jesus?

In my sinfulness I have done all of those things. I am ashamed to admit but honesty is where I find freedom.

I am sinful. I am imperfect. In the midst of hurts caused both by me and others I have indeed lashed out, spoke out, desired a following and even taken my hurts to Jesus.

As I was studying Hannah (1 Samuel 1:1-28 & 2:1-10) this morning my eyes were opened anew to how God honors those who come to Him in honest prayer, with the hurts of this world.

Hannah was a barren women who shared her loving  husband with a bully who was NOT barren. Hannah could have lashed out, she could have sounded out but instead she wept and prayed before the Lord and asked HIM to intervene on her behalf.

NIV Life Application study notes say: Each of us may face times of barrenness when "nothing comes to birth" in our work, service, or relationships. It is difficult to pray in faith when you feel so ineffective. But, as Hannah discovered, prayer opens the way for God to work.

Pray in faith. Pray in faith when we do not feel like it. Pray in faith when we want to speak out or lash out. Pray in faith when we feel sorry for ourselves. Pray in faith when we feel ineffective.

Prayer opens the way for God to work. Prayer opens our hearts. Prayer opens our eyes. Prayer shifts our focus back to HIM. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Today I have sought the Lord in prayer and have once again asked Him to FORGIVE ME and to PROTECT ME from my own sinful nature and from the bitterness that hurt can cause.

I do not want to hurt people out of my own hurt. I do not want to become bitter. I do not want to walk around with a burden that does not belong to me in the first place. I do not want to be changed from the person God created me to be.

Father,
I pray that no matter what hurt comes my way, may I always bring it right back to you and allow you to carry that burden and heal my heart to the fullest so that I may continue to love without holding anything back. Father, I ask you for forgiveness. Forgive me for lashing out and speaking out when I should have come to you. Forgive me for desiring justification instead of YOUR WILL. Forgive me for allowing ugly things to rule my heart. Father I ask that YOU heal all hurt and remove all bitterness from my heart. Father I ask you to always allow me to love without condition and with abandon. Let me hold nothing back out of fear of hurt. Help me to forgive and I seek to be forgiven. Father I pray for every reader that they too would pray and seek forgiveness and healing instead of justification and agreement from others. Speak Lord. Move Lord. In Jesus precious name I pray. Amen.

Deep Breaths

I have fallen. I have failed. I have hurt myself and others. I have been wrong. I have been wronged. I have lost. I have grieved. I have given. I have taken. I have let go. I have held on. I have won. I have ran. I have stayed. I have tried. I have given up.

Deep Breath.

I am kind. I am mean. I am wild. I am quiet. I am bossy. I am a follower. I am judgmental. I am gracious. I am strong. I am weak. I am bold. I am meek. I am ahead. I am behind. I am tired. I am energized. I am found. I am lost.

Deep Breath.

I want to soar. I want to hide. I want to speak. I want to think first. I want to be the best. I want to melt into the background. I want to be bold. I want to run away. I want to be better. I want to give up. I want to share my story. I want to hide my story. I want to spend. I want to save.

Deep Breath.

We have done many things. We are many things. We want many things.

We are at conflict within ourselves on the regular.

There is constantly a battle raging within us and around us.

Deep Breath.

We are a mash-up of sinful and forgiven.

Deep Breath.

God is NOT surprised by us. He is NOT surprised by the battle that wages in our minds and in the spiritual realm.

GOD IS OMNISCIENT = ALL KNOWING.

GOD IS OMNIPOTENT = ALL POWERFUL.

GOD IS OMNIPRESENT = EVERYWHERE.

Sometimes I think we just need to take a few deep breaths and breathe in the presence of our Lord who is ALWAYS with us. We need to take a moment and step back from the circumstance and ask the Lords to show us TRUTH. Breathe in HIS truth.

He is the AIR we BREATHE. Sometimes we need to take a moment and breathe that in and acknowledge that.

Deep Breath. Breathe HIM in. Breathe in His TRUTH.

We have done and will do many things. Breathe HIM in. We are many things. Breathe HIM in. We want many things. BREATHE.

Father,
Today I have been thankful for the sunshine and for a successful day with Easton and the potty. I have also been frustrated with Grayson's constant crying and clinging. I am been fun and silly with my boys and have been stern with them. I have been overwhelmed with my house and all that needs to be cleaned. So I sat down here in my happy place, my office and I breathed you in deep and you gave me peace and perspective. Sometimes I just need to take a deep breath, like I ask the boys to do, and allow YOU. Thank you Lord for your presence. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your forgiveness. Thank you for your truth. Thank you for being the air I breathe. Thank you for this moment here with you. I love you, I desperately need you, I want you near always. Thank you Heavenly Father for who you are and for all you have been to me. Thank you for being God. Help me to stop trying to be God and to just let YOU. In Jesus' name. Amen.

.

BYE September

Let me just be honest with you all. SEPTEMBER WAS MEAN. It was not my favorite month.

We had a lot of hard things happen to people we love and we had some hiccups in our own little family.

I spent the majority of the month CRYING and GRIEVING and quite a bit lost.

Understand that there were many great things in the month as well but when I think about the month over all it stands as one of the hardest of the year.

I let a lot of balls drop this month and I am quite disappointed in myself for that.

YES, I AM VERY HAPPY TO SAY GOOD BYE TO SEPTEMBER!

Welcome, welcome OCTOBER!

I am choosing to see October as a FRESH START!

October is my FAVORITE month of the year! I fully expect fall temperatures to make an appearance here and there. It is our anniversary month! It is the last month before the craziness of the holidays begin. It is just an all around GREAT month!

October will bring 9 full years of marriage to my Mr. Wonderful and that is more that worth celebrating!

So here's to saying goodbye to a tough month and starting afresh. Here's to letting go of the sadness and choosing to reside in JOY. Here's to moving beyond the disappointments of what I did not get done or did not do well.

HERE'S TO YOU OCTOBER! MAY YOU BE JOYFUL, BEAUTIFUL AND SO MUCH MORE!

Father,
Heal me. Heal my hurts and my heart. Heal my friends and my family. Bring the cooler temperatures and with it winds of refreshing and reflection. Lord may this new month be more successful than the last in all the ways that matter. Lord help me to bring you glory and honor in the way that I love my family and those around me. Help me Father to appreciate more and to see more of the good than I do the bad. Lead me and guide me on the paths that you would have me take. Help me to hear YOUR voice louder than I hear anything else. Do in our lives Lord what ONLY YOU can do! I give you this next month and Father I ask You to have YOUR way! In Jesus name. Amen.

It is Well with my Soul

This was the very first message I wrote as a speaker. It still holds true today.

In order for it to be well with our souls we MUST TRUST Him and not what we "know".

We must TRUST who He is.  God is LOVE.

1 John 4:16 - "As so we know and rely on the love God has for us. GOD IS LOVE. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."

If God is love then we understand from the Word that Love always Trusts.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 - "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

No matter what our circumstances are or have been or who has hurt you. God is still Love, He is good, He is faithful and He is trustworthy.

Through it all...It is Well

It is our choice to allow it to be well with our soul no matter what we face. Once we choose to believe in Him and who He is then we must...PRACTICE!

We must PRACTICE and be taught continually and then we stand in Truth and Trust.

HOW?
1. Read the Word. The BIBLE is absolute truth and we need to read and study it daily to know truth!
2. Be in HIS presence. For any relationship to work we must spend time together. God longs to spend time with us. We desperately need to spend time with Him everyday!
3. Speak Truth. Not what our feelings tell us. FEELINGS LIE!

• Numbers 14:1-25 - the Israelite's got caught up in the emotion of the moment...fear...and they forgot what they knew about God's character.
• God led them out of slavery, took them right up to the promised land, protected them, fed them & fulfilled every promise
• Yet they let FEAR take over and they stopped trusting God and THEY NEVER ENTERED THE PROMISED LAND.

4. Stay connected to the body of Christ! We must be a part of a community of believers and allow them to encourage us and correct us. We must continue in open and unguarded relationship with others.


We start by knowing who God is and trusting Him and then that lead us to knowing that IT IS WELL WITH ME!

When it is well with me then I can trust fully.

THIS IS WHAT SETS US APART FROM THE WORLD.

Y'all, I can confidently say that even though it has been a hard month for me that IT IS INDEED WELL WITH MY SOUL!

I still have JOY and I am okay to the core! God is so so good! Especially in the hard times! He is so attentive and loving. And the family of God that He has placed us in, is nothing shy of wonderful!

I am beyond thankful for the place that I am in. Spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

Father,
Thank you for your undying and never changing love and presence. Thank you that it is well with my soul. Thank you Lord that I know that no matter what I face that I am okay. Thank you Lord for the tough times that grow me, push me closer to you and allow others the opportunity to pour out your love into me. Thank you Father for who you are and for all that you are doing. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Hit after hit

I am in a season where it seems that the punches just keep coming one after the other. Anyone of you ever been there?

It has just been one heartache after another.

Even in the midst of these punches I am reminded of God's great love. He is so so good and so so faithful.

He gave me such an incredibly fun and refreshing weekend away with some wonderful women in our church and with other wonderful women in our state! I am beyond thankful for the time away with Him.

I know that He has never left my side no matter what I have faced or what I have done. I am beyond thankful today for that truth.

Deuteronomy 31:8 - "The Lord himself will go ahead of you. He will be with you. He will never leave you. He'll never desert you. So don't be afraid. Don't lose hope."

I have not lost hope. I will not give up. I will continue to stand and to love with heart wide open. I will continue to serve the Lord with all of me.

I am thankful that in a world where I fail people constantly He never fails! In a world where people fail us constantly, God never fails us. He is constant and never changing.

Hebrews 13:8 - "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

Oh this Monday I am broken and exhausted. This is the same place I have been at for a few months now. I believe that God has me in this place of brokenness for a reason and I know that it is only for a season. I want to learn all that God wants me to learn in this season.

If you are reading this and you have felt like you are just taking hit after hit please know that you are never alone and that there is much to learn in the hard seasons of our life.

Also know that a hard season does not equal a bad life! My life is far from bad. But this season is a difficult one.

Be encouraged today that God sees you and He goes before you and he is right there with us in our most difficult seasons.

I know that there are others that are in much harder seasons than I am in. Much harder! That doesn't lessen the difficulty of this season for me or them.

Father,
I have failed. Over and over I have failed. Others have failed. Others have failed me. In all of this I know that YOU are constant and faithful. We are going to fail. I am going to fail others and myself. Father, I desire to grow in this season and to learn all that you have for me to learn. Help me to see the places where you are calling me to do better, help me to see the places where I need to step back and allow You to move without my interference. Help me Father to continue to love with all of me even when my heart hurts so much. Father help me to continue to stand and trust you and serve you. Help me Father to bring You glory in all that I do and say even when I am hurting. I know that hurt people have a tendency to hurt other people, I ask you Father to protect me from doing that. Help me to be a light in every season of my life. Help me to point my heart and others' hearts back to you. Help me to always be open and honest and not build walls and hide. Father, help me. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Grief Rolls like the Waves

Close your eyes and picture with me...

you're standing on the beach just close enough so that the water touches your toes every several waves except for that one wave that rolls in strong on occasion that drenches your feet and splashes the tips of your shorts just a bit.

Grief or Sadness I think is much the same as this.

There are moments when the water has pulled back and you are completely dry and can laugh, sing and soar with life.

There are moments when the waves come close but do not quite touch you when you are down and quiet.

There are moments when the waves wash over your feet and you are hanging out with memories and tears.

There are the occasional waves that surprise you and wash all the way up splashing your clothes and you are swept up in the heartache of it all.

There are also the occasional waves that knock you down and you are drenched in lost hopes and plans, when you can barely pick yourself up or pull yourself from the sobs that come up like unwelcome water burning your nose.

Grief or Sadness rolls inside of us like the waves.

I am grieving with some of my far away friends these days. I have had moments when I have felt somewhat swept away by the sadness of all they are facing, knowing that I truly have no idea what it feels like to be in their shoes but desperately crying out for them.

I am feeling drenched in lost hopes, dreams and plans that I imagine they had. I weep for the emptiness that I imagine they feel.

I don't know what you may be facing today. I don't know if you are facing grief from loosing a loved one or if you are just experiencing some sadness. Maybe you are in a different kind of valley.

Maybe you are in one of the highs of life, way up on the mountain top watching the waves and enjoying the vast view and the peaceful sound of it all.

Reader, I don't know where you stand today on the edge of such grief, somewhere in the middle or way up upon the cliff of life. But I want you to know that no matter where you stand at this very moment...You are Loved. You are seen. You are known. You are chosen by our Heavenly Father, Creator, Savior, Lord of Lords, and King of Kings. He sees YOU, He knows YOU, He loves YOU and He choose you!

Father,
Help us in anything that we face to recognize YOU. Help us to allow your great love to transform us and to propel us on to the things that you have for us to do. Help us to heal and be comforted. Help us to receive your Peace that transcends all understanding. Help us to hear YOUR voice louder than we hear anything else. Help us to know that we know that we know that we are NOT alone. I pray that we would all come to know you more. Learn to love you more and that we would LIVE to serve YOU all the days of our life. In Jesus name. Amen.

When it hurts more than words

Today my heart hurts so much that I don’t really have words to describe.
Today I am wishing I had super powers. Today I wish I could roll back time and change a few things. Today I wish I would have known then what I know now.

Time is too short. Life is too precious.

 We just don’t know when the end will come. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. We don’t know nearly as much as we think we do. We know so little.

Where is God when we are hurting?

Psalm 34:18-19 - “The Lord is close to those whose hearts have been broken. He saves those whose Spirits have been crushed.”

Where is God? He is right there with us. Closer than ever before. I am so thankful for that truth, that promise.

I feel as though my heart has been broken repeatedly over the last few weeks. From the death of a friend to the needs of my students to the brokenness of many around me and my own brokenness.

It can be a lonely place when others think you have it all together or when your brokenness & imperfections have negatively affected someone you love. Mommying can be a lonely place. Ministry can be a lonely place. Grief can be a lonely place. Loving completely can be a lonely place.

The truth is, WE ARE NEVER ALONE. The Creator of the Universe is in constant pursuit of us and He is ever so near. Will I see Him? Will I acknowledge Him? Will I come to Him? Will I obey him?

The truth is, He has already gone ahead of me and knows the way. Will I follow Him?

At then end of the day, I want more of Jesus. I want to make Him happy. I want to walk well. I want His forgivenwss. I want right relationship with him. I want all of these things more than I want understanding and escape.

Father, Thank you for being close to the broken-hearted. We need you. There is so much hurt around me right now and always. There is so much hurt inside me. Thank you for giving me the capacity to love but I want to love even more. Father help me to just be better. Help me see you and receive you more. Father I pray for comfort for the hurting and peace that transcends all understanding in the days, weeks, months and years ahead. I pray that you would hold them up and draw them close. I pray that you would encourage them and strengthen them. In Jesus name. Amen.

From Overwhelmed to Challenged

There is so much going on in the media and on the news these days that I feel like my head is spinning. There is so much devastation around us and so many devastating stories constantly in our faces.

Gone are the days where we only hear the news once or twice a day. No, we are completely bombarded with it now. We are bombarded with SO MUCH because of media.

From innocent babies dying because of a broken foster care system, wildly popular books and motivational speakers to the suicide of a pastor from California. There are so many things IN OUR FACES!

It can be so easy to get caught up in it all. It can be easy to get caught up in the emotion of hearing about a child dying. It can be so easy to get caught up in the hype of the latest book or speaker. It can be easy to get overwhelmed.

It can literally just be so easy to get completely carried away by all of it.

Last night in my STARS class I was reminded of what is truly important. After all week seeing the media explosion of so many things it took one students prayer card (filled from front to back with pleas for her family's salvation) to bring me to a screeching halt.

OUR MISSION FIELD IS WHAT MATTERS.

Our families. Our church. Our community. Our neighbors. Our schools. Our workplaces. Our grocery stores. THE PEOPLE THAT WE SHOULD BE REALLY SEEING AND HEARING. That's what matters.

What matters is making sure that I am filling myself up with ALL of God and His Word that I can just so that I can pour that out when people need it. Not IF people need it but WHEN they need it.

Our mission field DESPERATELY NEEDS US.

They do not need the next great book or to hear the next hyped motivational speaker. They NEED JESUS and you and I may be the ONLY Jesus they ever meet.

Hebrews 12:1-3 says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

"let us throw off everything that hinders" - maybe that is our emotions, feelings, opinion or judgements or maybe it is our addiction to media!

"and the sin that so easily entangles" - it is so important that we are actively turning away from the sin in our lives and asking for forgiveness and for God's help to let it go forever

"let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" - God calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves and to go and make disciples and to be about His business winning souls for the kingdom

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith" - Let's be focused on JESUS and the Word of God and not all of these other distractions. Doesn't life throw enough distractions at us without adding more

"who for the joy set before him endured the cross" - the JOY is YOU and ME! He did it for US! So that we can become who He created us to be and do the things He created us to do. So that we can be His representatives to the world around us

"and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" - He is at the right hand of the throne of God interceeding for US! He is listening to ALL of our prayers and telling them to God and asking Him to help us!

"Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men" - Jesus came to earth. He knows how hard it is to walk out our faith here. He knows it first hand and He left a book to help us. HE TAUGHT US FROM HIS OWN EXPERIENCE!

"so that you will not grow weary and lose heart" - We must not grow weary. Our mission field NEEDS us to keep going. To keep loving and to keep pouring out!

I am so challenged today. I went from a place of being completely overwhelmed to allowing God's Spirit and His Word to challenge me and to propel me forward and continue the work.

Why?

Because I have two boys who look to me to be the example of Jesus 24 hours a day!

Because I have a student who is pleading with God for the salvation of her family. I have many students who need to be built up in the way of the One True God because they are facing unimaginable things at home and because they are bombarded with social media ALL DAY LONG!

Because my community is chock full of hurting people who are turning down the wrong path to find the fulfillment that only comes from Jesus. Because I used to walk there and because I now know TRUTH. Because God calls me to be the one to share the truth and the gospel!

Because this world is hurting. We see it all day everyday!

This world doesn't need our opinions, judgments or posts. It needs us to be so saturated in the Word and in God's presence that we can give them what they are truly needing...JESUS!

We won't see the needs around us if we are so caught up in the world around us, we won't even hear them when they are screaming out for help.

No, we must remove ourselves and find our quiet place with the Lord, EVERYDAY. He will help us see and He will help us go and He will help us love.

Father,
I am overwhelmed with the needs. Help me to see through your eyes. Help me to be ready to be your hands and feet in my mission field. Forgive me Father for getting caught up in the nonsense when I could be spending that time with you getting ready for the task at hand. Use me Lord. Use little broken me. Help me to love without conditions or judgments. Help us all Lord. Father I pray that every reader would have an insatiable hunger for You and Your Word. In Jesus name. Amen.

Whispering Truth

Recently I read a chapter in a book that led and ended with Proverbs 23:7, which says, "For as he thinks within himself, so he is." (NASB)

This really spoke to me on many levels.

I believe that we are who and what we think we are and that we become who and what we think we are. Therefore I want to know who and what God created me to be and I want to think on those things.

C. S. Lewis said it simply this way. "We are what we believe we are."

Throughout the day after I read that verse I began to recognize places where it applied. One of those moments was with my oldest son who is three. I fussed at him for doing something mean to his brother he then asked me not to be mad at him. It was in that moment that I realized yet again how much my reactions and responses affect the way he thinks and sees things.

Later that day I began whispering truth into my boys' ears. While we were rocking before nap time I leaned in and whispered, "You are Loved." and "You are created in God's Image." and "You are kind." etc.

I want to do this because I want them to think and know who and what they were created to be. I want them to think TRUTH about themselves.

I want the TRUTH to cover all of my mistakes as a mom. I need God's truth to cover all of my mistakes as a mom.

I also need God's truth to be whispered to my heart as well. In telling them I am reminding myself as well.

I plan to begin randomly whispering truths to them throughout each day. Truth from God's Word.

Whispers:
You are created in God's Image. Genesis 1:27
You were created with a purpose and a plan. Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:10
You are kind. Galations 5:22-23
You are wonderful. Psalms 139:14, Ephesians 2:10
You are loved. John 3:16, 1 John 4:19
You are strong. Psalms 46:1

I am thankful that we have already incorporated prayer into our day heavily which has helped tremendously when mama's attitude stinks or either of the boys' attitude stinks.

Here are some of the prayers that we pray as often as I can remember to. I am certainly not perfect at this but every time helps.

During a moment of big feelings:
Lord Jesus we ask you to come into our moment. Help us to calm our feelings. Let us hear your voice louder than we hear anything else. In Jesus' name. Amen.

During a moment where one or several of us are out of control:
Lord Jesus we ask you to come into our moment right now. We ask you to forgive us for ______. Help us to calm down and to not do these things anymore. In Jesus' name. Amen.j

Armor of God Prayer: Ephesians 6:13-18
Father right now we put on the full armor of God. Help us to stand firm with the belt of truth buckled around our waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place and with our feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this help us to take up the shield of faith with which we can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Help us to take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is your word God. And help us to pray in the Spirit on all occasions and with all kinds of prayers. In Jesus' name. Amen. I am just literally praying the scripture right out of the Bible here.

Bedtime Prayer: The Lord's Prayer from the Little Lamb's First Bible
Greatest Father God above 
you are perfect full of love
help me live my life your way
give me what I need today
please forgive me when I'm bad
teach me how to make you glad
give me strength to do what's right
and keep me safe both day and night. 
In Jesus' name. Amen. 

I just want to point us back to Jesus as much as possible and I want to whisper or speak truth so that we are thinking of the right things so that we become who and what God created us to be.

If we were to think all of the time, "I am stupid." We would begin to say it and then we would begin to act that way and eventually we would loose track of who and what we really are which is far from stupid.

The bible is our source of what God, OUR CREATOR, says we are. Those are the things we should be thinking about. "For as he thinks within himself, so he is." Proverbs 23:7 (again).

Joyce Meyer says, "You can't live a positive life if you have a negative mind."

I want to change the way that we are thinking so that we can all truly live the life God has created us for.

I have found that recently I have sunk into a place where I most certainly have a negative mind. And do you know what, I can barely stand myself. I am whinny, constantly complaining, negative and sad. Because of the way I have been thinking my joy has been taken. I needed Proverbs 23:7.

No more. I am taking back my thoughts according to 2 Corinthians 10:5.
Here is my new prayer:
Father I demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and I take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. In Jesus' mighty name I pray. Amen. Again basically just praying the scripture as it reads in the Bible.

Will you join me friend? Will you join me in taking our thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ so that we can take back our minds and our thoughts and so that we will believe and become who God created us to be. So that we can truly LIVE OUR BEST LIVES.


Father,
Help me Lord. Every moment of every day I need your help. I ask that you would help me to take captive every thought and every word. Help me to think TRUTH and speak LIFE. Help these readers as they read these words to also have moments where Your truth applies. Help us oh Lord. We need your help. Help me to speak Life to my boys and to be a safe place for them. Help me to be the mom, wife, friend, daughter, and teacher that you created me to be. Give me your strength Lord and help me to hear YOUR VOICE louder than anything else. In Jesus' name. Amen. 

Sunshine Blogger Award

I am honored to have been nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award!! 

The Sunshine Blogger Award is peer recognition for bloggers that inspire and uplift through the content of their blog. 

This encouraged me so much that my heart in blog form is encouraging others and uplifting them and my Lord Jesus!! 

I am so humbled to be nominated for this sweet award by ~~> Outnumbered By Blessings Thank you so much! Here are the answers to your questions...

1. What is your favorite activity at church? I love to worship with our Children's Church kids and workers!
2. What is your favorite and most touching experience that you have had with Jesus? Oh there are so many but Salvation will always be my favorite. I remember the moment as if it were yesterday!
3. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Lake Louise Canada
4. You can have anything in the world to eat, what is it? My husband's steak or pulled pork
5. What verse(s) of scripture best describes you? 13
    “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
6. What is your personal ministry? Loving people with all God's has made me to be. Loving the hurting. 
7. What was the main reason for starting your blog? To encourage others and uplift the name of my Lord Jesus!
8. Has your blog changed from what you originally intended it to be? No
9. How has blogging changed your life? It has rekindled my passion for writing and sharing through words.
10. What is your favorite activity to do as a family? Going to the beach or exploring a new town or city!
11. What is your go to meal? Spaghetti!

I now nominate...

In Quiet Trust

Good Job Mama

Our Mess Is Blessed

So CyCy

Faithful Momma

I would love to see the answers you each have for these questions:

1. What is your favorite activity at church?
2. What is your favorite and most touching experience that you have had with Jesus?
3. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?
4. You can have anything in the world to eat, what is it?
5. What verse(s) of scripture best describes you?
6. What is your personal ministry?
7. What was the main reason for starting your blog?
8. Has your blog changed from what you originally intended it to be?
9. How has blogging changed your life?
10. What is your favorite activity to do as a family?
11. What is your go to meal?

What You Say Of Me

I was blown away by the amount of views my last post received. I believe that is due to loneliness being something that so many struggle with and maybe don't talk about very much. 

I have not been able to shake that. It breaks my heart to think that so many struggle with feeling lonely.

I have focused my study time on what the word says about loneliness and I thought that would be what my next post would be about. But that is not the case.

Lauren Daigle has recently released a song entitled "You Say". I have had this song on repeat since last week. It is a game changer. LOOK IT UP. BUY IT. PLAY IT. LIVE IT. BELIEVE. 

I played it for my STARS class (3rd-5th grade girls) last night and we talked through the lyrics and then worshiped to the song. My prayer is that these young girls would truly list to what GOD says of them rather than their feelings or the world. I PRAY THEY WOULD BELIEVE WHAT YOU SAY OF THEM LORD. 

I wanted to share what it is that God says of us. This will certainly NOT be an exhaustive list, but it will give us a good start on who we are in Christ.

You are LOVED. Isaiah 43:4a (NIRV) "You are priceless to me. I love you and honor you."

You are STRONG. Ephesians 6:10 (NIRV) "Finally, let the Lord make you strong. Depend on his mighty power."

You are HELD. Isaiah 41:13 (NLT) "For I hold you by your right hand--I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, 'Don't be aftraid. I am here to help you"

You are his CHILD. John 1:12 (NLT) "But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God."

You are ACCEPTED. Romans 15:7 (NIRV) "Christ has accepted you. So accept one another in order to bring praise to God."

You are ADEQUATE. 2 Corinthians 3:5 (NIV) "Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God"

You are BEAUTIFUL. Isaiah 61:10 (NIRV) "The people of Jerusalem will say, "We take great delight in the Lord. We are joyful because we belong to our God. He has dressed us with salvation as if it were our clothes. He has put robes of godliness on us. We are like a groom who is dressed up for his wedding. We are like a bride who decorates herself with her jewels."

You are BOLD and CONFIDENT. Ephesians 3:12 (NIRV) "Through him and through faith in him we can approach God. We can come to him freely. We can come without fear."

You are CALLED. 1 Corinthians 1:9 (NIV) "God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."

You are CHOSEN. Colossians 3:12 (NIRV) "You are God's chosen people. You are holy and dearly loved. So put on tender mercy and kindness as if they were your clothes. Don't be proud. Be gentle and patient."

You are more than a CONQUEROR. Romans 8:37 (NIV) "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us."

You are FREE. Romans 8:2 (NLT) "And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death."

You are GUARDED by God. Philippians 4:7 (NLT) "Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

You are his HANDIWORK. Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) "For we are God's masterpiece (handiwork). He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

You are KEPT. 1 Peter 1:5 (NIV) "who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time."

You are the LIGHT of the world. Matthew 5:14 (NIRV) "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill can't be hidden."

You are an OVERCOMER. 1 John 5:4 (NIRV) "That's because everyone who is a child of God has won the battle over the world. Our faith has won the battle for us."

You are ROYAL. 1 Peter 2:9 (NIRV) "But God chose you to be his people. You are royal priests. You are a holy nation. You are a people who belong to God. All of this is so that you can sing his praises. He brought you out of the darkness into his wonderful light."

You are SAFE. Psalms 4:8 (NIRV) "I will lie down and sleep in peace. Lord, you alone keep me safe."

You are THOUGHT ABOUT. Psalms 139:17-18 (NIRV) "God, your thoughts about me are priceless. No one can possibly add them all up. If I could count them, they would be more than the grains of sand. If I were to fall asleep counting and then wake up, you would still be there with me."

You are VALUED. Matthew 6:26 (NLT) "Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?"

You are VICTORIOUS. 1 Corinthians 15:57 (NLT) "But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ."

This only scratches the surface. The WHOLE Bible is filled with the good things that God thinks about us, created us for, made us to be, helps us to be, etc. 

I know loneliness will come. I know we will struggle. I know that our feelings will lie. I know that we will go through the valley. 

But God has already thought of ALL of that. Nothing takes Him by surprise. That is why He gave us HIS WORD, his love letter, so that we would have all that we need to walk through with strength and not crumble in defeat. That is why he left us with a helper, the Holy Spirit. We do not walk alone. EVER. 

I don't know about you but I am choosing to BELIEVE WHAT HE SAYS OF ME. 

I don't want to listen to my feelings. THEY LIE. 

I don't want to listen to the world. IT IS CONTROLLED BY OUR ENEMY. 

I don't want to turn to other people. THEY ARE HUMAN AND CAN AND WILL FAIL US. 

I don't want to find my worth or my identity in anyone or anything but GOD MY FATHER, GOD MY CREATOR, JESUS MY LORD, JESUS MY BEST FRIEND. 

Heavenly Father,

Thank you so much for song writer like Lauren Daigle who write your words and sing it for all the world to be moved. I ask that you would bless Lauren abundantly. I pray that she would continue to write and sing songs that move us to the core and point us back to YOU. I pray Father for every reader, Lord that YOU would speak LIFE into them. I pray that You would encourage them in their journey and help them to remember that YOU have been where they are and that YOU are right there with them. Father thank you for encouraging me and for using me in my struggles to speak out to the world. Lord Jesus I pray that you would come into our moment right now and that your love and peace that surpasses all understanding would surround us and pour down on us like warm sunshine. Jesus I pray for miracles to happen in the lives of every reader as they stand on YOUR TRUTH and as they BELIEVE WHAT YOU SAY OF THEM. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

When the loneliness sets in

As women I believe we all have those moments where we just feel so lonely. We can be surrounded by people, wonderful people and still feel lonely.

Recently I had one of those moments. I knew that my feelings were lying to me but I couldn't help but feel that overwhelming loneliness.

I cried. I laughed. I went crazy for a moment or two.

I missed my far away friends. I missed my far away family. I missed the old days. I missed this and I missed that. I was just ALL UP IN MY FEELINGS.

My wonderful husband was close by as were all of my church family and friends. I certainly was not alone. But it still FELT like I was.

Such a classic example of...FEELINGS LIE.

Readers, hear me, I am telling you that this teaching drastically changed my life. I now understand that even in the moments when I feel the lowest that these feelings are not my truth. I still feel them and battle against them, but they are NOT TRUTH.

My TRUTH comes from my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and from the Word of God. Even while I was feeling extreme loneliness and sadness I knew it wasn't truth and knew where to turn for truth.

The minute I focused on the Bible and Jesus those feelings began to dissipate and they did NOT return. I happened to be teaching a class and had no choice but to move forward and change my focus. I am thankful for that. But I realize now that truly the moment that I began teaching...BOOM...the feelings began to GO!

By half way through my class I was back to normal. I was exhausted from the extreme feelings but otherwise I was back in a normal head space.

I just want to share this learning...FEELINGS LIE...as often as I can because it has been so life altering for me.

We are going to feel big feelings. We are going to go through hard things. But if we can grab a hold of the understanding that our feelings are NOT TRUTH then we can begin to move forward quicker.

What I learned this time was that if I can just get focused on Jesus and the Word then those feelings will begin to dissipate sooner.

I am so excited about this new learning! I am so thankful to be about my Father's business and not have time to stay in those feelings...IN THOSE LIES. I am so happy that I had a class to teach and precious little hearts to be more concerned about.

Yes, my feelings were there and yes there was a root to them. I see the root and can deal with that without all of the feelings getting involved and for that I am also thankful!

Oh goodness I am just learning one thing after another here! I am happy that you are here learning (reading) with me!

Father,
Thank you. Thank you for YOUR ABSOLUTE TRUTH. Thank you for placing wise and Godly people in my life to teach me lessons that change my life. Thank you for continuing to teach me and move me. Thank you for allowing me the passion to share what you teach me. Thank you for who you are. Thank you Father for being such a good good Father. Thank you Lord for each and every reader. I pray that they too would learn and draw nearer to you. I pray that YOU would speak to their hearts through the words on this screen. Father I pray that YOU would change the course of their lives with YOUR LOVE and YOUR HOPE and YOUR WISDOM! In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Words of Fire

Last night I spoke at our Ladies Night of Worship. I gave one of my least favorite message to date. It's a hard message.

I hope it ministers to you as it has been ministering to me.

Words of Fire

James 3:3-6 – When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

It sets the whole course of his life on fire…

THE WHOLE COURSE OF HIS LIFE…

Kinds of fire…Fire for God or Fire that destroys?

Fire for God:

2 Timothy 1:6 – For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God

Hebrews 12:29 – God is a consuming fire

We can spread the Love of God, the Word of God, share HIS MESSAGE, we can spread LIFE

Destroying Fire:

Proverbs 16:27 – A scoundrel plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire.

Proverbs 26:18-19 – Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I was only joking!”

Proverbs 26:20 – Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down

We can leave a path of destruction

The tongue is a fire…where does this fire come from? THE HEART

Matthew 12:34b – for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

Matthew 15:18-19 – But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean. For out of the heart come evil thoughts…

What course of fire ware we on?

Where is our heart set?

I have learned quickly as a mom that I set the tone for the day. Examples.

• ·         Sunday morning E got spanked and my tone was ugly – he had a bad day.
• ·         I got stressed out one night because the power kept going out and got frustrated with the boys and it took an hour for everyone to stop crying and settle down for bed.
• ·         If I come in the room smiling and happy and we have our prayer circle first thing our day tends to be much more peaceful.

When my heart is set right…ON GOD, ON HIS WORD, ON PRAYER, & ON TRYING TO PLEASE HIM AND BRING HIM GLORY…Good Fire comes from my tongue. We pray, we praise, we treat each other better.

When my heart is distracted as it SO EASILY is by…MYSELF & WHAT I WANT, SOCIAL MEDIA, WORRIES, NEGATIVITY…Destruction comes from my tongue. I bark and yell. I get frustrated and angry. We all treat each other badly.

We set the tone as moms, as wives, as sisters, as daughters, as friends.

It is so easy for me to say…if my boys would just be quieter or if they would stop fighting or if this person would stop this or do that THEN I wouldn’t be so mean or get so frustrated.

But the reality is…the fire that comes from our tongue isn’t about ANYONE ELSE but ME and MY HEART.

I tell the kids in Children’s church all of the time...GARBAGE IN = GARBAGE OUT. 

It matters what we are putting in.

Are we putting in enough of the goodness that God has for us? 

Are we hiding HIS word in our hearts that we might not sin against Him as it says in Psalm 119:11?

Are we as women, aka the tone setters of our families and friends, spreading a contagious fire for God or are we leaving a path of destruction?

Let me just tell you...THIS IS A HARD HARD SUBJECT FOR ME. I have had a rough couple of years when it comes to this topic.

I do not speak to my children the way I truly want to consistently. I yell and bark more that I am gentle and kind.

I complain WAY TOO MUCH to my husband. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:15-16 – A nagging wife is like dripping that never stops on a rainy day. Stopping her is like trying to stop the wind. It’s like trying to grab oil with your hand. YUCK!!!

I AM WORKING HARD TO CHANGE THESE THINGS!

HOW? 

Through fasting, praying and trying to STAY in my Bible and HIDE the word in my heart. Not just read it but memorize it and study it. I want to put so much Word and God in my heart that NOTHING else has the chance to come out.

Proverbs 4:23 – Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

Psalm 19:14 – Lord, may the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing in your eyes. You are my Rock and my Redeemer. This has become my prayer!

HE CAN HELP US. HE WANTS TO HELP US. He has already changed me so much! Because of Him I am not who I used to be. 

I AM BETTER THAN I WAS BUT NOT NEARLY CLOSE TO WHERE I WANT TO BE!!

Father, 

I pray that the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart are pleasing to you. Help me in this area Lord. I need you. Thank you for how far you have brought me but Lord, I WANT SO MUCH MORE OF YOU! I want to be even better than I am. I want to bring you glory in all that I say and think and do! In Jesus name. Amen. 

Somewhere in the middle of happy

As I sit here in my little office during the boys' nap time I can't help but find myself somewhere in the middle of HAPPY.

I am happy that these sweet boys of ours are growing and learning so much even if they are still not potty trained.

I am happy that my husband is home from Cuba and had a wonderful time and that our summer is finally winding down. It has and always will be our busiest season. We love it so much but I am always ready for things to wind down.

I am happy about all of the wonderful new families we have at our church. And I am happy that I got the opportunity to meet several of them yesterday.

I am happy that school has started back and believe that our students are going to shine bright for Jesus this school year.

I am happy to have started a new venture into selling Scentsy. I am so excited to see what this brings to our family.

I am happy to have this house that we live in and dream about all the ways we want to make it ours over the years.

I am happy that fall is around the corner. (I am over summer)

I am happy that I have a faithful Heavenly Father and Savior that have changed me entirely.

I am happy that my boys are already learning God's word. They have memorized four Junior Bible Quiz questions.

I am happy that God allows me the opportunity to love His people through ministry and life. I truly LOVE people. Through and Through.

I am happy to be writing again. I love it so much.

I am happy to be seeking God in reaching my dreams. I believe He has big things in store for me and for my family.

I am happy about the opportunities that are coming.

I am happy that it is a brand new week chock full of new beginnings and new days to fill with my boys.

I am happy happy happy.

I could keep going. I could go on and on and on about all the things I am happy about. But the bottom line is...things are not perfect but I am happy and joyful because I am right where God wants me. Nothing on this earth makes me happier than that.

I have joy that comes from my salvation. I have joy that comes from having an intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father. I have joy and happiness that come from being able to look around me and see the good things that GOD has given.

James 1:17 (NIV)

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

He does indeed give good good gifts. He is so very faithful and kind.

No, things are not perfect but they sure are good and I am happy.

Father,
Thank you for who you are. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for changing me. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for allowing me to be the wife of an amazing and incredible man. Thank you for allowing me to be mama to these two wonderful boys. Thank you for calling us. Thank you for leading us here and for allowing us to literally live our dream every single day. Thank you Father for this wonderful house and thank you for the closed doors that led us here. Thank you Father for the little things and for the big things. Thank you Father for new and old friendships. Thank you Father for the privilege of praying for others. Thank you Father for the gift of salvation through Your Son Jesus. Thank you Father for opening doors. Thank you Father for closing doors. Thank you Father. Thank You. In Jesus' name. Amen.