Aahhh the wind

The wind and I have always had a very special relationship. Even before I knew the Lord there was a peace that only the wind could bring me.

When I was younger I would seek out places where I could be safe and alone outside in the wind.

When I was a child it was in a pasture next to our trailer park and under the largest tree in the trailer park.
When I was a teen it was at the end of a pier with my feel dangling down toward the water and the stars twinkling up above.
When I was a young adult I discovered the beach and experiencing the wind there was so incredible and just want my ragged soul needed.

After I came to know the Lord I understood the wind on a very different level. It was almost as if it was the only tangible piece of God that I could have until I get to heaven.

Psalm 104:4 NIV   

4He makes winds his messengers, flames of fire his servants.

When I met my husband the Lord gave me an analogy of the wind (air) to share with him while explaining why I love Jesus so much. The conversation went something like this:
Hub(before he was my hubby): How can you love something so much that you can't even see?
Me: Do you see the air?
Hub: No
Me: But can you feel the air?
Hub: Yes
Me: I can't see God. But I can feel Him and I can see Him working in my life. Just like I know the air is there without having to see it. God is there. He is everywhere.
Hub: Oh

Something like that.

The wind is one of the reasons that I love Fall so much! When the temperatures cool and the crisp wind blows it fills me with a fresh peace and hope. I get nostalgic and hopeful.

I can't quite explain the relationship I have with the wind except to say again...it's like the only tangible piece of God I can have until I get to heaven.

Add in the waves with the wind and I am literally in heaven on earth. There is something so peaceful about the wind and so majestic about the waves. It is my happiest place on earth. I love it.

I am looking forward to the crisp winds of fall and winter this year (every year). It brings such a refreshing peace along with it.

I was sitting out in our backyard watching the boys play in their pool. It was overcast and a light breeze was blowing and I just felt so at peace. I am so thankful for moments like those.

I truly believe that God created nature the way He did so that it would draw us into Him. I cannot wait to get to Heaven and see how it all relates. Like how exactly are we made in His image and how exactly does nature reflect God?

I always experience fall fever at this time of the year when the sun is scorching and the breeze is so rare and the humidity is my least favorite thing!

I am looking forward to the fall. To the wind. To the crispness in the air. To the trees turning. To the peace and hope that fill me.

Ahhh the wind.

Father,
Thank you for the things that you give that point us to you and give us a glimpse of you on earth. I am thankful today for the wind, for the peaceful gentle wind. I am thankful for nature. I am thankful for how creative and detailed you are. I am excitedly looking forward to fall. Thank you Lord for the seasons. I love you Lord. In Jesus' name. Amen.

When things just don't go as planned

Hi everyone,

Hi from the other side of the insanity that has been our week. Let me break it down for you.

Friday I came back home from Girl's Ministry camp. We had a rocky first part of the week but it got much better and we finished the week with a great time!

It seems like just as soon as I got home and other people's kids were no longer in my care, I became instantly SICK! We were thinking strep throat. So knowing that my hubby was going to be leaving for Cuba I decided it would be best to get myself in to see the doctor and jump on top of whatever was going on. So that afternoon while the babies napped I went to the doctor.

I was feeling so awful. Throat hurting, head hurting, coughing and lots of extra yuck packed in my head. I napped in the room while waiting on the doctor. My strep test came back negative but the doctor said my throat looked so bad he was going to treat me for strep anyway. I got a shot in the hip and was prescribed an antibiotic and cough syrup. I left the doctor and went straight to pharmacy. Left with just my antibiotic as my cough syrup wasn't covered and was said to be $38 and I felt I could hack it without it. Pardon the bad pun. Doc said shot and antibiotics would likely make me feel much better within 24 hours.

I got home and spent the evening resting as much as possible. Woke up still not well so my sweet hubby took both boys to their cousins' birthday party and left me at home to rest. I laid in my bed for 4 hours and was able to feel well enough to help my husband pack his suitcase for his trip before bed.

Sunday morning rolled around and I was feeling poorly again but had much to do at church so we went to church. I felt okay. Sunday afternoon I napped with the boys and woke up feeling terrible again. Neither my hubby nor I slept well that night (him out of fear he would over sleep and miss his plane and me from coughing and being miserable).

Hubby left around 4:30am Monday morning and I had such big plans to spend the day potty training the boys. When I woke up again around 7:30am I was feeling worse that ever. I took a hot shower to try to ease my headache and then I realized that I had whelps on the backs of my legs. I spent the morning on the couch with chills while the boys played around me. I called my mother in law who thought I might be having an allergic reaction to the medicine and told me to call the doctor. I was told to stop the antibiotics and try to get back in to the doctor to get another.

I decided to get my expensive prescription cough syrup instead since the cough was the thing that was bothering me the most. My chest and stomach muscles were hurting from the cough at that point. I did not feel that the antibiotics were helping so I was not overly concerned with getting more. I mustered up the energy to load up the boys and drive just down the street to the pharmacy (Praise God it has a drive thru). I was then told that the cough syrup would be $49 instead of $38 but at that point I was too sick to care and just told them to let me have it. We waited a good 20 to 25 minutes for it, but I was so thankful we just had to sit in the van!!

When we got home my sweet boys wanted to play on the porch but mama just wanted to get the cough syrup down and get us all down for a nap. I was pooped. It took some effort to get them inside and as soon as I got them both in I closed the front door. As I was closing the door I realized that Easton was standing in the corner behind it and this look began to move across his face. I felt like we were moving in slow motion. Yep, mama closed his poor little finger in the door before she realized what was happening. We both began to cry. For Daddy.

I had no idea if his little finger was broken or not but that baby was sure crying like it was. I picked him up went and got "icy bear" from the freezer and again picked up the phone to call my mother in law. She happens to be the closest and works in the health field and I am thankful. We decided that we didn't feel it was broken so I waited a little longer before I put them down for nap just to make sure he was alright. We then all napped very well. I fully expected to wake up feeling better and be on the mend.

I'd like to say that was the case but it was not. I woke up feeling a heaviness in my chest and shortness of breath and the backs of my legs were really itching on top of the coughing and headache and NO ENERGY. I laid on the couch for a bit with more chills and then I called in some further reinforcements. I called YaYa and PawPaw Bart as the boys had pulled on the mantle and I felt it was dangerous and I also needed some benedryl for the rash on the backs of my legs. I mustered up all my strength and made dinner and fed us all before they arrived. Once they arrived I drank some gingerale and gatorade  they brought and let them attend to the kids for a minute and fix the mantle. Before they left the kids were in their jammies and the mantle was once again safe. The kids had some real interaction for the first time all day and we were ready to go to bed. This mama was beyond grateful for the help.

This time I really did expect to wake up feeling all better and I did...for just a bit. I woke up before the boys, got a nice long shower, sat out on the front porch in the cool of the day and read my bible and prayed. I thought, "this is going to be such a better day." I was wrong. Very wrong. I got the boys up and we all went out to eat pop tarts on the porch because it was nice and cool out and those sweet boys had not been outside very much the day before.

While we were outside enjoying the breeze it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was SICK SICK SICK. I was dizzy, lightheaded and felt awful again. I began to have shortness of breath and thought well lets get us all inside so I can lay down. So back inside we went. Poor boys. Mama turned on the TV and laid down. Praise God for the TV! After about half an hour I began to feel nauseous and ran for the bathroom. Where I stayed for the next little while. I did not try to stop it. I just wanted to get out everything that needed to come out. It was then that I realized the cough syrup was red and remembered that I have a red dye allergy. So I felt if I could just get it all out it would pass.

I spent most of the morning in my bed getting up often to check on my boys. They were being absolute angels! Playing and watching TV and being so very good. I was beyond grateful.

By 11:00am I realized that whatever was going on was not going away. I could barely stay standing and I just did not feel right and I wondered if something was going on with my blood pressure. I called my mother in law and told her I needed help. I knew at that point I could not drive and I truly needed some help. She told me my father in law was on the way to get me and to call the doctor and tell them I was coming. The doctor was out and they were trying to work me in with another when my mother in law called me back and said she had called the office herself and got me an appointment. She said she would meet me there. So all I had to do was wait. I did not even move from the kitchen table.

I was on the phone with my wonderful pastor's wife sitting at the table when my littlest walked by covered from head to toe in soot. Those sweet boys had played well all day and then right when help was coming they decided to get into the fireplace. I did not realize a small charred log still resided in there. It was all over my children, my new rug and the hearth. I was in shock at that point.

My friend prayed for me over the phone and by that prayer only did I manage to get up and begin to clean up the mess. I was in G's room wrestling with him to get him clean and his diaper changed when my father in law arrived. I cried and let him take over.

He took me to the doctor where it was confirmed that I had two separate allergic reactions. I had hives, shortness of breath, and fluctuation of blood pressure from the antibiotic. I was vomiting from the red dye in the cough syrup. I got another shot in the hip and was sent home with my in laws due to the drops in my blood pressure. I could not drive nor did I need to be left alone until it was all under control. I was told that if I did not feel better the next day that I would need more steroids.

I went to my in laws and napped and they took very good care of me and the boys. Thankfully I woke up the next morning feeling so much better. However my boys woke up running fever and were both very snotty.

We came home and I cleaned the house immediately. It was so gross from mama not being functional. I then anointed each room (using coconut oil because I didn't have anything else) and prayed over the whole house. As I was finishing up my prayer and rebuking sickness and the enemy, my incredible three year old says, loud and proud, "AMEN."

What a week. This certainly is not what I had planned but I will tell you this, the enemy will not win. He will not get my joy or my peace. I know that this was designed to ruin our week and cause me to be weak and be afraid of my husband being gone. But I tell you, no way, nope that will not happen. My husband is being the hands and feet of Jesus in Cuba and me and the boys are just fine. God has us and we are having a rough start to our week but we are just fine. I believe that God is right here with us and He is healing us and He reigns in our home. I believe big big things are happening in Cuba whether the team realizes it or not.

Father in the name of Jesus I declare that we belong to you and that we trust you. This home belongs to you and we belong to you. I believe that you have us and that we are just fine. I believe that the Cuba team is just fine. I know that you are still good and faithful. I know that all is well. I believe that we are reaching the end of this sickness and from this point on we will be well and have a great week! In Jesus name. AMEN.

Raising up weapons

A couple of years ago we read a book with our Sunday School class that left a lasting impression on me. At that time we had E and I was pregnant with G. I was in a moment of being quite terrified of the responsibility of raising two boys and not damaging them.

We were reading a book called, For better or for kids, by Patrick and Ruth Schwenk. Here are a couple of quotes from the book that really spoke to me.

"God created the family - parents and their children - to have a greater purpose: to be instrumental in building and shaping civilization."

"Families are good for kids because they need the nurturing, protection, wisdom, discipline, and guidance of a man and a woman who love them deeply."

"...we are raising kids who will grow up to fulfill God's purpose by piercing the darkness of the world in which they live. In God's hands, our children will become weapons of truth, life, and light in a dark, broken, and hurting world."

"God has a plan and a vision for each couple and family."

What I love most about these words is that it shifts the responsibility from my incapable shoulders to God's very capable hands.

IN GOD'S HANDS...

I am so thankful that God chose me to be these boy's mama. I am so thankful that I get a front row seat to watch them grow and learn. And I am so thankful that HE has the purpose and plan for us as a family and for them as individuals.

I learned a long time ago from some very wise women, whom God placed in my life, that my husband and children would not belong to me, they would belong to God. I am so grateful to have been given that learning before I had a husband or children, for it would have been so much harder to not hold on to them as my own.

My guys belong to the Lord. I can trust HIM with them. He has a perfect purpose and plan for all of us.

I do not get sad when my boys grow and change. For I understand that this is exactly the purpose for having them. I did not have children to keep them little so that I would always have someone to love or love me. No, I had children to love and teach them as best I can and to send them out into this world as weapons of truth, life and light. This world needs that.

If I hold onto these boys because I need them they will not have the freedom they need to go and do the things that God created them to do. I never want them to have to fight to be able to do whatever God calls them to do.

I desire to love my boys, teach them, watch them grow, point them to God, and give them the wings and freedom to go and do whatever HE calls them to.

I know this will be a very difficult place to stand in every different season of our lives. But I am thankful to have been given the understanding early that they are not mine to keep but they are mine to set free.

And God desires to use them for His kingdom in mighty ways because our dark world needs mighty warriors. Our world needs arrows that will pierce through the darkness and shine HIS light.

So I get to watch these boys grow, learn and change before my very eyes. It does not make me sad. It makes me so very happy and so very proud. I get to be used by God to help them come to know Him, learn to love Him. learn to allow Him to love them, and watch them live to serve Him all the days of their lives. This is my prayer and this is my joy. I am not perfect but my shortcomings are covered by God's grace.

You won't hear me say I wish they would stop growing or I wish they would stay little. I do not wish those things or feel those things. I don't need them to stay little and the world doesn't need them to stay little.

I only pray that I can truly be a help to them as they learn and grow. I pray that I will not be a hindrance to them in any way. I want to be their home base, their safe place, their launching pad. I want to be the place where they test their wings and feel safe enough to fail but also feel free enough to get back up and try again.

I want to do my best to enjoy them at every stage and be excited with them as they move to the next one. I never want to try to hold them back in any way but to encourage them to grow into the Godly men that I know God created them to be and to be the light that this dark world needs.

This book reinforced this in me in such a strong way. It pointed me to the scripture that says our children are like arrows in the hands of a warrior.

Psalm 127:4-5 "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court."

I cannot wait to see what God has in store for these incredible boys! Our E has just turned three and already he is such a blessing to those around him. He prays for me and brings joy wherever he goes. I am beyond excited to see how he impacts this world along with his brother!

Father,
Thank you for your infinite wisdom. Thank you for all the wisdom you poured into me before I ever knew I needed it. Thank you for your perfect plan. Thank you for these sweet boys. I ask you for your wisdom continually. I need you every single day. I am so grateful that you allow me to be these boys' mama. May I always be a safe place for them and may I always be good for them. Help me to always hold onto them with an open hand. Help me to encourage them and point them to you always. Father I pray that E and G would come to know you, learn to love you, allow you to love them and live to serve you all the days of their lives. I pray this for their future wives as well. I pray that I would never try to hold them back in any way out of my own needs or fears. Thank you Lord for them and for allowing me a front row seat to watch them grow. Help me to be the best mom for them. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

What I do not want to give my boys

There are many aspects of parenting that are difficult. Being careful not to project my fears onto my boys is one that I have recently discovered. This is not as hard as other aspects of parenting but was just an interesting thing to realize.

I was a very fearful child growing up and I do not want my boys to be the same.

Let me give you an example. I do not like lizards. One could say that I am afraid of them. I do not want to touch them or be near them and watching them crawl across my porch or on the side of my house gives me the hibbie jibbies.

However, I do not want my boys to be afraid. So when I see a lizard I call my boys over and encourage them to look at it and watch it. I do this so that they can experience something even though I am afraid of them. I encourage them to look and not touch. I am sure at some point in their little boy lives they will touch and probably hold one just not around me. I know that is probably very wishful thinking.

I have also experienced this with under water tunnels as well. I have worked really hard to overcome my irrational fear of the under water tunnel here in our city so that my boys will not be afraid of it. This is hard because I really hate that tunnel, but the truth is that my fear is irrational. I have to stand on that truth and allow my husband to take me through the tunnel so that I can overcome this silly fear.

When I think about all the things that I want to give to my children, fear is NOT one of them

The bible talks about fear many times. In fact the words "fear not" occur 365 times throughout the bible. That is no accident. God loves us and wants us to live a life of love and action,  not a life of fear.

1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

Rick Warren puts it this way, "Christians must work through their faith and relationship with God to take away fear's control over them."

God wants us to live without fear so that we can live the life He has created us to live.

My heart is that I can teach these amazing boys to be smart and respectful of certain things (snakes, spiders, fire, etc.) and to live with the strength and courage that the Lord created us to have. I want them to try things, to not fear failure or be afraid to live life fully.

This is something that I have to think about in certain moments when I am experience feelings of fear.

Feelings lie. Fear is a liar.

Zach Williams in his song Fear is a Liar says it like this...

Fear, he is a liar
He will take your breath
Stop you in your steps
Fear he is a liar
He will rob your rest
Steal your happiness
Cast your fear in the fire
'Cause fear he is a liar

No, I sure do not want to be the one who teaches my boys to believe the lies of the enemy. But that sure is difficult. Not impossible. 

I believe we just have to work hard to be who God created us to be and trust Him. I believe we have to seek Him to help give us wisdom with our children and be open to His teaching, correcting and His healing.

I used to have many more fears that would have very likely been things that I would have passed right along to my boys. God was gracious and allowed me to work through many of those before I had children. I have more to work through still though. 

I want to keep close to the Lord so that I can hear his whispers as things come up. I want to stay close to Him so that He can continue His great work in me. I want to model a strong and healthy relationship with God in front of my boys. I want to allow Him to work through me to teach them to be brave and courageous in their walk with the Lord. 

Father,
Thank you for allowing me to see this battle. Thank you for your continual healing in my life. Thank you for not only loving me but for loving my boys. I know that you will be their good good Father just as you are mine. I pray that they would come to know you, learn to love you and live to serve you all the days of their life. I pray that they would not allow fear to lie to them but that they would live lives of courage. Father I give them to you and I trust you. Father I ask you for wisdom continuously so that I may be the best mom for these two amazing boys. In Jesus name. Amen.

A new normal

As I write this, I am sitting in my home office working on a few things. I am being brave and working while the kids are awake and allowing them to play in the room with me.

So far I am pleasantly surprised at how well this is going. You see my sweet boys are destroyers and they are so fast.

I am calling this a new normal but the jury is still out. I would love it if they could play as I get things done.

My boys are 3 and 1.5. They are amazing. They are curious about EVERYTHING. And little ole 'type A' me gets a little stressed by all of their curiosity. (Just being real here.)

So here we are, learning what I hope to be a new normal. Where mama takes a chill pill and the boys follow a few rules.

Am I just dreaming here? Maybe. But I sure am willing to try. I want us all to have a bit more freedom.

Our new normal also includes lots of time outside which is an absolute breath of fresh air (literally). We have a wonderful front porch, that my Hubby is currently pressure washing. It is wide, spacious and is covered with three ceiling fans. Ceiling fans are important because we live in the deep south! We have two extra large porch swings. One at each end. We have four very comfortable outdoor spring rockers. We have a playhouse (that was recently given to the boys) and several other toys they enjoy playing with. We live our life on the porch these days.

I wish our new normal included potty trained boys, but so far, it does not. We have been potty training for a week now with no success. Honestly, potty training has been the most discouraging thing I have yet to do. It is taking it out of me. At this point we have gone back to diapers because E (my 3 year old) currently refuses to go to the potty. I could cry. From relief and frustration. I was in it to win it this time (this is our second time to try). But he has just decided that he is not having it and I will not force him to do it...yet. I don't feel like he is getting it yet.

Oh the life of a toddler mom. Sigh. It is exhausting, challenging and wonderful.

As I type this my kids are still playing around me. They have their bibles in their backpacks and are pretending to go to work (the church) like Daddy. Every time they "leave" I get hugs and kisses. The last hug from E was a long hug where he whispered "I you mama." BE STILL MY LITTLE MAMA HEART.

Yes, I could get used to this kind of new normal.

Father,
Thank you. Oh thank you for moments like this. These are the moments that give me life and breath. Normal everyday moments. Thank you for my wonderful, hardworking husband who thrives on taking care of us and our home. Thank you for these amazing little boys who surprise me everyday. Thank you for this moment in particular today, I really needed it. Thank you for your immeasurable blessings in our life. Thank you for you love, your unconditional love. I need you everyday Lord. Bless this little home and this little office and may the things that come out of it bring you glory. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

One choice at a time.

How does it happen? How did I get here? Why is God "suddenly" so far away?

It happens one choice at a time. Sin. Christianity.

Romans 1:25 "They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator - who is forever praised. Amen."

Romans 1:28 "Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.

This is how sin takes over. Once choice at a time until God gives us over to it. He is a gentleman and He will not force anyone to love him. It happens by our choosing. One choice at a time. Which is why we have to be so careful what we put into our minds. We have to be so careful because the enemy is bombarding us with attitudes and beliefs that are totally opposed to the Bible. TV, music, movies, social media, and all other media are presenting sinful lifestyles and unwholesome behavior constantly, without stopping. Media never stops.

But we have to. We have to stop. We have to remove ourselves from that. We have to do our very best to not be consumed by it. It is literally EVERYWHERE. Even at church.

We have to choose to shut it off and get alone with God. We have to choose to lay down the phones, turn off the world and read our paper bibles, our physical paper bibles. Why? Because there are no distractions in that.

Becoming consumed with sin OR becoming more Christ-like happens one choice at a time.

Choose praise and worship over secular music.
Choose christian fiction over non-christian.
Choose PG over PG13 or worse.
Choose paper over electronic.
Choose devotional time over social media scrolling.
Choose HIM versus the world.
Choose to say NO to sin, the things that tempt you, the things God hates.

We get to choose.

I get to choose.

And I fail at this way more than I care to. But I am praying that once choice at a time will draw me away from these distractions and closer to God.

I want to be more Christ-Like. I want to shine brighter. I want to love bigger. I want to be kinder. I want all of these things.

I want balance. I want HIM. I want my children to choose HIM.

That starts with me. It all starts with me but HE has promised to help and to never leave us or forsake us.

Romans 6:14 "For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."

• If we are bound to Christ, he is our master, and he give us power to do good rather than evil

One choice at a time. With HIS help and HIS power.

I chose to today to get up early to get alone with Him. I am thankful I did.

Will you join me...one choice at a time?

Father,
help us to choose you. Help us to see the places where we need to stop and choose you. Help us to MAKE TIME ALONE WITH YOU AND YOUR WORD. Help us to draw closer to YOU, one choice at a time. I ask for your strength and your power. I ask you Holy Spirit to lead and guide me daily. Help me to hear you louder than I hear anything else. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Control

I am learning everyday how little control I have. I was one of those moms that thought, prior to having children, that I would be able to just say something, then stand my ground, and my children would comply.

Wrong. So so so wrong.

The reality is, the harder I dig my heels in, the worse they respond. Sigh. Oh how very little I know about parenting.

I have learned that there are things that you just have absolutely NO CONTROL over.

For example, my little guy G loves shoes. So while we were in Ross tonight looking for Daddy some new shoes, lil man became very upset because he was not getting to try on new shoes. NO CONTROL OVER THIS. It's absurd actually that this would cause a fit but it did. He got to take his shoes off and try on Daddy's new shoes. Boom! Tantrum over. WHAT!!!??? Insane.

Example number two: Our big boy had two stickers on his cheeks when he went to bed. This was mom's fault. I found a pack of hidden stickers inside the pull up package and got excited because I know how much they love stickers, and gave them both stickers.  So when the stickers came off while E was in the bed, he threw a fit. NO CONTROL OVER THIS. Daddy tried to assert control as E was screaming in his face by giving him a spanking. Nope. Digging heels in did not work. I mean, it just seems logical to me that you should be able to look at your child, say no or stop, and that be that. No, E flew into an absolute fit. I was finally able to get him to calm down by praying. That boy loves stickers. The whole situation was absurd. Insane.

Control. I have very little.

Now don't get me wrong. There are things that are non-negotiable. There are things that they know we will not tolerate.

It is these other things that just astound me. The complete off the wall things that I just don't see coming. Like shoes or stickers. The ridiculous battles that blow me away.

Parenting is hard. It has been the thing that teaches me, more than any other, that control is absolutely an illusion. Control is not real.

This makes me so very sad. I love my illusion of control and cling to it. (See previous blog post about that here Roots).

Father,
Help me to continually let go of my desire to control. Thank you for teaching me that control is just an illusion and for continuing to teach me that over and over. I need it, clearly. Lord, I pray that you would help us as we guide these children. Help us to have your discernment and wisdom. Help us to see through your eyes. Help us in every single way Lord. We need you so much.  Thank you for your help and for your love. Thank you for who you are. In Jesus name. Amen.

When you get everything you ever wanted...

Sigh...here I sit in the realization of God's amazing faithfulness.

I remember as a child dreaming of what my future would look like. Never in all my dreaming and wishing could I have imagine all that God has restored and given.

One of the things I love most about the Lord is that He loves to write the story better than you can dream it. He has done just that for me.

I remember when I came to know the Lord and began working in children's ministry. I was at kids camp and I was really struggling that year with being single and wanting my life to start, never realizing that my life had indeed already started. I was so angry that I was still single and I was desperately seeking my future husband at camp that year.

I remember being so frustrated. That was more than a decade ago and I will forever be thankful that the Lord and the amazing people He placed in my life helped me to wait and not settle for anything less that all that GOD picked for me.

I had all these dreams, wishes and hopes. And now here I sit with many of those dreams, wishes and hopes fulfilled and chock full of new dreams, wishes and hopes.

I am sitting in my office in my new house (something I always dreamed about but never thought would happen). I drive my dream car (I wanted a minivan since I was young and I drive a really awesome one). I have the most amazing husband (I never imagined I would have a man as good as him). I have two incredible boys (oh man do they ever exceed my expectations - just like their daddy). And we are in full-time ministry (well my Hubby is on staff full-time at the church and I get to stay at home with our boys).

Then there are bonuses that I never even thought of. Like, my hubby being on staff or me being the women's ministry director.

I mean, when God does something, He doesn't hold back. He is a good good Father, truly.

So here I sit...having everything I ever wanted and then some, with new dreams and hopes that I am placing right in the hands of my faithful Heavenly Father, because I know from experience that He writes a much better story than I ever could.

I cannot wait to see what He has in store for us as we continue our journey as a family. I cannot wait to see what He has in store for my husband as He continues to give his all in ministry and beyond. I cannot wait to see what He has in store for our boys as they grow and continue to learn (E learned his first Junior Bible Quiz question today! - for more info on what that is click JBQ Overview). I also cannot wait to see what He has in store for me as I continue to seek Him and reach for new dreams and goals.

Dear Reader, hold on to your hopes and dreams with an open hand, allowing God to give and take and write your story just how He knows best. I promise you can trust Him and that He writes the BEST stories!

Matthew 7:9-11 "Which of you, if his son asks for bred, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Father,
Thank You just doesn't seem like enough for all that you have done in my life and for all that you have given. You exceed my expectations and dreams just because of who you are. Thank you for loving me, for saving me, for calling me out of the darkness. Thank you for using me, calling me, propelling me forward into who YOU created me to be. Thank you for the dreams that YOU have turned into promises fulfilled. Thank you for sharing this incredible family with me. Thank you for never giving up on me no matter how far away I stray. Thank you for giving such incredibly good gifts. Thank you for writing the most amazing story for us and for whatever is yet to come. Thank you. Thank you for sticking with me in every hard season and for not allowing me to stay in those dark places. Thank you for every loss and every gain. Thank you for the sunshine and the rain. Thank you for the learning and the growing no matter how painful. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. In Jesus name. Amen.

Kids Blast 2018

Kids Blast is our annual Kids Crusade at our church. It took the place of their VBS.

We do three nights of high energy kids services. We have motion songs, games, candy, prizes, lessons, worship and altar time.

This year's Kids Blast absolutely blew me away.

The theme for Kids Blast 2018 was "No Fear". Once we decided on that theme the Lord began to work on the fear in our lives and in the lives of several members of our team.

Let me just say right now that we have an amazing team!! We are so proud of our students and the adults that came along side us to minister to the kids in our community.

Kids Blast is Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night. The Sunday night before it starts, our church canvasses the neighborhoods around the church. We knock on doors and invite kids to come.

Each night the kids register, play in the gym, then at 6:00pm they come into the sanctuary and we do 15 minutes of pre-service games then we start service.

We had so much fun and from weeks before we knew that "No Fear" was directly from the Lord. We prayed for adults and kids who are facing fears and who had been allowing fear to control them. Every night God showed up and moved among us.

We are so thankful that God uses us. It is such an honor to serve Him and to share His love with kids, teens and adults.

We wish we had grown up knowing the love of the Lord and knowing that He is always with us. This is what drives us to share with kids God's love now. We want them to KNOW Him so that no matter what they face in life they will know that He will never leave them or forsake them.

The kids around us are facing many things. There are many broken homes and broken hearts around us.

Would you join me in praying that God would continue His work in the days and weeks beyond our kids crusade and that if these babies need a church home that they would feel welcome at our church. We want them to be continually told how much they are loved and have a church family to help them grow and to support them.

Father, Thank you so much for all that you did in during Kids Blast this year. Thank you for all that you brought to light. Thank you for your undeniable love and healing. Thank you for our amazing team, would you bless them and grow them. Thank you for all that you did in me. I ask that you would continue to grow me and propel me forward. Teach me and heal me. Lord I want to serve YOU all the days of my life. Nothing I have ever done compares to serving you and being in your perfect will. Nothing I have ever chased has fulfilled me the way that YOUR love fulfills me. Thank you for loving me, healing me, using me and for being YOU. You are faithful. You are wonderful. You are love. You are truth. You are everything I have ever wanted or needed. I am so thankful that You pull me up out of the darkness and set my feet on solid ground. And I am so thankful that you use me to love your children young and not so young. Thank you Lord. Thank you. In Jesus; name I pray. Amen.

Let me leave you with the lyrics to a wonderful song...Tremble by Bethel Worship

Jesus, Jesus
You make the darkness tremble
Jesus, Jesus
You silence fear